I stayed with her by her side all night talking to her, hoping she would wake up. Even if she heard me, that would make me feel so much better. I kept apologizing all night until I fell asleep, my hand in hers, and my head on her lap. It wasn’t a comfortable position, but it was the right position.
But what happened next haunts me forever. I almost lost her.
I awoke to hear a loud beeping coming from her heart monitor. Her body was shaking, and I screamed for nurses and doctors, never letting go of her hand. I couldn’t hold in my tears. They rushed out of my eyes, falling from my cheeks onto her body. The nurses and doctors rushed in, and one of them moved me out of the way. I had told her mom and the lads to go back home, and that I would see them in the morning, so they aren’t here. My god, her mom if she were here. I cant imagine what it would be like for her.
“Adelaide! Adelaide! No… Please don’t leave me. I need you!” I screamed. I tried rushing towards her, but several doctors held me back. Fuck. Why did this happen? She doesn’t deserve any of this. I know what I told her was harsh, but I didn’t mean any of it. Im a douche. I know.
The doctor shocked her heart, as I heard him scream ‘Her heart is failing! We need to do this now before we lose her.’ Hearing this made my stomach drop and my tears came out quicker. I dropped to my knees, begging God to take me instead of her.
A sign of relief came when the doctor exclaimed that he had restored her hearts beat, and it was controlled. He said that they needed to rush her to surgery, and stat. I paced back in forth, crying, and thanking God. He didn’t do what I had requested, but it was better than either one of us losing our lives. She was being operated on, and the thought of them cutting her open in any way, or even touching her like that made my stomach do somersaults. This wouldn’t have happened if I wouldn’t have freaked out on Niall for being drunk and horny. I should’ve just turned around and walked away. And then what I told her when she came to visit me in jail. I should’ve realized in that moment that she had rushed to see what had happened to me. She cares. And now, because of my dumbass moves, shes on the verge of dying.
I decided to close her room door, sliding down the door, I sobbed. For hours.
