Ganama

Day 21.

That morning, I woke up surprised in myself for being able to fall asleep. Tactrin tapped his badge against the bars like the bell at a front desk.

"All rested up? Ready to go home?"

The officer was wearing the usual attire I had always seen him in.

".sure..."

I felt defeated, telling him anything would do nothing. He unlocked the cell, and swung it open for me.

"You wouldn't believe the beating I got when you just walked out."

We walked to front doors of the building, him matching my slower pace.

"So just don't burn anything, ok?"

"Yah..."

"So when... or if you decide, you take these once a day. I know it sounds scary, but once you forget to take them, you don't need to."

He handed me the rattling cylindrical container.

"Oh, and if you decide not to, just let us know. It's not like anything will happen, we would just rather know, it's for your safet-"

"I get it..."

There were about ten steps that led up the the front entrance. At the bottom was a dark car, parked on the road outside the building. It seemed dark blue in the twilight, the headlights giving off a yellow glow.

"He'll take you to a hotel until we find another place for you to live. And don't worry, I know the city bothers you, so it's back in your town."

I walked by him and to the car.

"Don't worry about giving the guy a tip!"

Tactrin yelled to me from the door as I walked down the steps to the car. It was apparent he was trying to cheer me up a bit, but I really didn't feel that well.

There was a man wearing a black suit in the drivers seat. He never made any noise, he just drove once I got in.

As Lindsing moved into the distance, the sun moved to accommodate the lack of city light. I sat looking down at my lap in silence, half awake half asleep. Sometime on, I could hear the forest, the painful screaming that grew louder as we drove closer. How I could know that I was close to the forest? I had been looking down entire time. Epiphanic clarity made way to confusion and doubt. If everything was just in my mind, I shouldn't be able to hear the forest without knowing I was near it, right? The car soon stopped at a small recognizable hotel, I was definitely in my town. When I heard the noise in the car, was that real? I don't know.

I doubted myself, then doubted my doubt, I needed the truth. I walked passed the hotel, to town. The world around me seemed to drift away, just looking forward began to take extreme focus. My house was still burnt down, no surprise. The fire had been out for a while, and all that remained visible was the roof that had fallen in. I felt terrible guilt for Jack, and struggled to tackle the idea he never existed. Even though I thought I killed him, I would rather it stay that way. My truck was still in the driveway, keys still in the glove box. Staying near my house was difficult, seeing the damage I had done.

Meg's house looked the exact same, but through a window I could see a family at their dining table. They had bright yellow walls with a floral design, and chatted as they ate a roast. I nervously moved closer in hope of finding something that could prove her existence. I stood outside the window looking in, searching around the room for evidence. There was an older woman that sat at the end of the table, behind her was a wall of family photos. Just to the side, was a small photo of Meg and the girl at the side of the table. There she was, smiling, happy, alive, but further than ever before. I thought I would be happy to something to prove that she was real, but it only distanced me from resolve. The woman at the end of the table had short curly hair, and neat eyebrows that moved low as she showed a face of disgust, as her eyes met mine. I quickly walked back to my car and drove away. The man at the other end of the table ran onto his lawn, yelling at my truck. "YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY!". Maybe that was real, maybe that was Meg's family. There was a spot at the table for someone else... was there? I don't know.