It makes me sick the way sadness is addicting. that way I can't stop.
Sadness is familiar it's comfortable and it's easy in a sense that it comes naturally to me.
But everything else about it is hard. The way my body aches with self-hatred. The way my mind spins and spins with hopeless thoughts. The way it poisons everything I do, every relationship I have.
Yes it's addicting, because I know sadness, and I know it very well. And there's a sort of comfort in that, like being home after a trip or sleeping in your own bed after being away.
There's just a sense that this is where I belong. This is how I belong, it's how it's supposed to be.
