Merlin's Hookah

Merlin's Hookah 3

CHAPTER 3

"As long as I don't see any flying fucking monkeys man. This is crazy Wayne, is this a flashback man?"

 "I hope so Tank, because if it's not we got issues to deal with. Lets go back inside and sit down man."

    On the way back in Tank notices a path laid with stepping stones going around the side of the tower as well as the other leading to the front gate.

    Once inside the guys walk over and sit back on the couch.

"Wayne is this shit for real man? You didn't sign us up for some stupid fucking reality show did you?"

"No dude, I swear. I have no idea what the fuck is going on. What do you think we should do?"

"Wayne the number 1 rule in a crazy situation, Always cover your ass. This is a pretty fucked up situation. We've already been thru the tower somewhat so let's go have a look out back. I don't want any surprises coming from behind like when you drop the soap in prison. Lets see where that little path goes so we know our ass is safe.

"Good idea bro, but Tank?"

"Yeah man?"

"Can you please twist another one? This shit is wiggin me out dude."

"Sure man, as the saying goes, A true friend with weed will always a friend indeed."

    After a good smoke the boys go outside for a better look around. There is a nice stone fence around the front yard area with a wrought iron gate in it. They follow the path around the side of the tower to the back. They discover there are 3 buildings and a garden full of stuff. One building is the size of a small barn or stable. the second one is more like a shed, it has a small chimney on it. The last one is obvious with the little moon window cut into the door.

    The garden is the first thing they check out. Rows of corn, tomatoes, onions, carrots, peppers, radishes, lettuce, cucumbers, squash and cantalope. As far as the herbs go there are a few they recognise. Basil, rosemary, dill, oregano and tyme. There are several they don't recognise as well.

    Tank digs in his pocket and pulls out a little stoppered vial he always carries with him. On the rare occasions he does find a seed in his weed he keeps it and puts it in this. His bud is always killer so they are worth keeping.

"No telling how long we will be here, might as well pretend we're Cub Scouts and be prepared", Tank said as he poked a few seeds in the ground.

"Good thinking dude", said Wayne.

    Right then they were covered by a big dark shadow for a moment and then it was gone. They both looked behind them, seeing nothing they looked up. That's when they saw it.

"Tank, is that what I think it is?" asked Wayne.

"If you think you saw Puff the fuckin Magic Dragon I would say so Wayne", Tank said as they watched it glide thru the sky down towards the town they saw.

"Glad we're so fuckin high right now", Tank said as they watched it land at a building on the edge of town, people running up to it. It was to far away to tell what they were doing though.

"Tank this is crazy dude, its like in a movie or one of those far out books you read on Watt Pad or something."

"No shit Wayne, but since this IS not a dream or flashback as messed up as it is, well it just fuckin IS man. Now take off your little boy underroos, put on your big boy boxers and get fucking with it bro."

"You're right man, till we figure how we got here and how to get home we gotta survive. Now I'm all worked up with no morning dump. I'm assuming the little building with the moon window in the door is the outhouse and I gotta shit."

    Wayne walked over to the building in question, opened the door and just stared at what he saw.

"Hey Wayne, I thought you were prairie doggin man, hurry up bro I'm next, yelled Tank."

"Tank, SHITTER'S FULL!!!, yelled Wayne. Get your ass over here now!!"

    Tank runs to Wayne, standing there beside him he sees what has Wayne so upset. A skeleton is sittin over the drop hole wearing a black robe hiked up around its waist. There was a book, ink pot and quill sitting beside it on the bench.

 Tank looked to Wayne and asks,"You think this is the dude who owns this place man?"

"Probably so man. What do you think he died from?"

"Who knows man, who knows."

"Fuck it Tank, help me drag his old ass outta there before I shit all over myself."

"No problem dude, laughs Tank. Don't use all the paper."

As Wayne sits down to blast ass he reaches over and grabs the book bone boy had in there and starts reading the last page.

Day 132 ,  year of the Rock

   I knew I should not have eaten dinner with that fat fuckin Troll. Trolls can't cook any better then a Kobold, should have just been rude to the cunt and took what I needed. Just needed that final item from her to finish my spell. Whatever she put in those burritos is tearing me up and it won't pass. I have been sitting here for 3 hours now and the headache and sweats are getting worse. Great, the shit pains are starting again, hope it ends soon.

               Merlin

               Master of the Tower

"Dude, it's the dead guys journal! This is nuts, his name is Merlin. He did magic too Tank. He died taking a shit, ha ha ha.

Wayne you better hurry the fuck up before i I die holding one in!!!!

"All yours Tank, I'm gonna grab some veggies to nibble on dude. I'm gettin the munchies pretty fuckin bad."

    As Wayne was walking thru the garden looking over the veggies he saw something different. Where Tank had poked the seeds into the dirt there were now 4 little plants about 6 inches tall. This place isn't so bad, Wayne thought to himself as he looked over the garden. He grabbed a tomato, it was a nice one big as a baseball. A nice rosey orange color and it smelled very tasty. He rubbed it on his shirt to polish it up and took a bite. It was was by far the best tomato he'd ever tasted, and it was not the munchies talkin either. All the veggies looked to be in prime condition. Next he grabbed a cucumber and just took a bite, it was just as awsome as the mater was.

"I feel 10 pounds lighter", said Tank.

"Damn dude, stop sneaking up and  scaring me like that, Wayne said. Here try these man."

"Wayne I know what those taste like, been eating salads since I was a kid."

"No shit Sherlock, these are different man. Like no others you've had man."

"You better not be screwing with me Wayne, said Tank as he took a bite of each. Daaaaaammmmnnn, those are good."

"Wait Tank, that's not all check this out". Wayne showed him the 4 little plants that were now about 10 inches tall.

"No fuckin way man, this is wicked! Wish my garden at home was like this."

"Seriously Tank, this may be your new home and your new garden for awhile."