Return to Neverland

Chapter 9

"Juli, do you want to help us?" Charlie asked. Jamie and Charlie were in our room, dressed and ready before I had even opened my eyes. I hopped off my bed and crawled to the floor where they were sitting.

"Help with what?"

"We're making something for Grandma's trip," Jamie replied. "So that she'll always remember us."

I left for breakfast, trying to smile and politely disagree without getting angry. I knew that if things stayed the way they were for another week that I would go crazy myself. Everyone was believing the impossible, and everyone didn't seem to have a slight doubt about it. It was as if there was a line between reality and fantasy, and I had one foot on each side.

Grandma was eating breakfast with Mom and Dad, and they were having a light conversation. When they saw me they continued eating. I gave them a smile and got a plate down from the cabinet.

"Good morning, honey," Dad greeted. I muttered my good morning and scooped the pre-made pancakes that were resting on the counter. I sat down between Mom and Dad, grabbing the syrup from the heart of the table.

I poured more syrup than I intended on my breakfast. The adults just watched me as I allowed it to leak all over the plate. I popped the lid back on and started eating silently. They just watched me, which pressured me to eat quickly. I cleaned my plate and placed it in the sink.

Grandma was in her room, and I stood at the door. It was like the day that I tried to get along with her. This time, I would be taking a trip to try to turn her back into my grandma. This time, I didn't hesitate to enter the room. Grandma stood up when she saw my presence. She gave me a closed-lip smile.

Grandma had changed her room. The junky objects were off of the counter. The belts weren't on the hooks and bags of sand weren't laid all over the room. Above me was just a ceiling. Bottles weren't hanging. Everything just seemed plain. It was like the day I moved out of the room. I couldn't remember what the walls looked like until then. Apparently they were a light blue. My stomach churned when I looked at the new decor.

"Juli," she said. I almost flinched as she said my real name. The conversation would have been much easier if she called me Julian or John again. I wanted her to show her craziness, to stop being sane, because it was the most insane thing I had ever seen.

"Grandma, we need to talk," my voice sounded shakier than I intended it to be. She nodded, motioning for me to sit next to her on the bed. I slowly sat down, the mattress squeaking under my weight.

"You're not going to Neverland," I admitted. It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders just for saying that.

"Of course, I am," Grandma laughed. Her laugh was light, different from her chuckling. I took deep breaths, trying not to suddenly scream at her.

"But you're not," I faced her, trying to make my voice sound firm. "Neverland isn't real."

"Of course, it is."

"It's impossible," I whispered. She shook her head. My chest felt heavy as I grew more impatient. "There is no such thing as Neverland."

"How could there not be a Neverland if I'm going there soon?" Grandma questioned. I stared at the small lady. It was the longest conversation we've had, and yet I wished it could just end. "Juli I'm-"

"No, you're not!" I exploded. "Look, you're not going to Neverland, that place is not real. Do I need to be clearer? Ever since Grandpa died you've acted like this because your name is Wendy, so you believed that you were the Wendy from the story Peter Pan. Look, you're not.

"The so-called pixie dust," I continued. "It's just sand. Sand. I've seen it when I used to go on vacation to the beach. And the bottles, full of broken butterfly wings and the so-called magic water is just lake water or something. The junky stuff you have are just things that are sold in garage sales. The acorn on the necklace represents the kiss that Wendy was given by Peter Pan, but it's not the real one. None of that stuff is real.

"You call me John because in the story Wendy's younger brother is named John," it felt so good to have it all get off of my chest that I knew that I couldn't stop. "The problem is, though, everything you're believing about the story Peter Pan is not true. It's just a story. You're not going anywhere. You're staying in Connecticut with me, Mom, Charlie, Jamie and Dad. You need to realize that."

I bit my tongue to prevent myself from screaming some more. I was worried that everyone else in the house had heard what I said. When no one came barging in, I relaxed. Grandma stared at me blankly. She slid her feet against the hard floors, making them squeak under her bare feet. She went into the closet and got one of her jars out. Inside was a wing. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. She showed it to me. The jar was so close to my face that my nose almost touched it.

"What do you see?" she asked.

"A wing," I replied.

"What creature is it from?" Grandma tried. I squinted my eyes. It was a piece of a wing, but it was a beautiful cream wing that had black tips. It was simple but very astonishing. My eyes couldn't tear away.

"A butterfly," I responded.

"Or is it something else?" she questioned. My mind snapped to why I was there in the first place. I glared at the jar and then looked away. "Don't you see what I mean?"

I left her room without another word.

In front of the doorstep was a piece of paper. I picked it up. It was a card made of printer paper. On the front, in colorful markers, was a sloppy image of stick figures with holding hands. There were arrows, and our names were on the card. Grandma was in the center, Charlie and Jamie grasping onto the lines known as the hands.

I opened the card, the words Come back soon! were written in shaky handwriting. Jamie and Charlie had signed it.

I smiled and set down the card. I was happy to see that they loved their grandma. She was family.

I still left angry, but I felt myself calming down. I went back to my room. I knew that I wouldn't talk to Grandma until she realized that she needed to have a reality check. That wouldn't stop me from enjoying my brother and sister's company.

That night I read them a story and flicked off the lights. I crawled onto my bed. My head hit the pillow and I tucked my arms under it. I felt an object hiding. I wrapped my fingers around it and tried to make out what it was. It was hard in the dark, but I was able to make out a small bag. I opened it and felt what was inside.

Inside was grains of sand.