Relapse - A One Direction Fanfiction

Chapter 3

"Harry what are you doing in there? You've been in there for a while now." Niall knocked on the door of the bathroom. Harry quickly slipped the razors back into the drawer and turned on the faucet.

"I'll be just another minute." Harry's voice cracked. He ran his wrists under the cold water, the sink filling with a pink blush. He made quick work in cleaning up his mess and pulled his sleeves down to cover his self inflicted wounds. "It's all yours pal." Harry opened the door and said to Niall, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Finally!" Niall barged into the white room and slammed the door shut behind him.

Harry kept walking. He felt dizzy but it felt almost good to him. The idea of self harm scared him, but the feeling, that was a different story. He walked into his room and laid down on the bed. His head seemed to hit the soft pillows in slow motion. "You're weak Harry." He softly scolded himself. "So weak." A tear rolled down his cheek and pooled in the corner of his mouth. Harry hadn't cried in a while, the taste of sadness being all too foreign.

"Harry?" Harry's door pushed open ever so slightly, letting a strip of light crack through the darkness of the room. "Are you asleep?" Louis asked to the lump on the bed in a whisper voice. Harry laid still on the mattress, he felt too weak to reply so he figured he'd fake a deep sleep. "Well night I guess." Louis almost sounded disappointed as he shut Harry's door and left the youngest boy in silence.

"Harry already asleep?" Louis stopped Niall in the hall.

"Oh I guess so, spent a long time in the bathroom, little fella must be tired." Niall shrugged off Louis' concern and laughed. Louis walked into his room, with Niall's comment being no help to him. He laid his head to rest.

Harry was the first to wake up the next morning, rubbing his eyes and blinking away last nights sleep. His wrists were sore as he headed to the bathroom. He walked in without even knocking and took a seat on the toilet with the lid still down. He sat there scratching his head, still half asleep, trying to make sense of why he had harmed himself.

"Hello?" Zayn called from inside of the shower. Harry didn't notice that the shower was on as he walked in. He started to panic. He needed to think of an excuse quick before Zayn thought him a pervert or some sort of creep.

"Uhm..." Was all Harry could come up with. He looked around as if trying to find his excuse written on the walls or ceiling. A few moments later, he left the bathroom with no further words. He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, running his hands under water and rubbing them on his face.

"Hello?" Harry could hear Zayn call from upstairs. The thought of him being in the same room as his best friend who was naked had him feeling awful strange.

"Stop thinking about bad things Harry." Harry growled to himself, repeatedly palming his forehead. His whole body started to shiver as he snapped around and pulled a knife from the wooden knife holder on the counter. He pulled up his sleeve and started to lower the knife to his smooth, raw wrists.

"Harry?" He heard Zayn's voice behind him. He paused and he felt knots form in his throat and stomach. He was caught for sure.

"Yeah Zayn?" He tried to speak as normally as possible. Drops of sweat forming at his hairline and above his lip.

"Did you see anyone come out of the bathroom? Coulda swore I heard someone in there." Zayn asked him. Harry heard the fridge door open and quickly put the knife back.

"Uhm nope, been downstairs all this morning." Harry leaned his back up against the counter, facing the fridge, slowly beginning to calm down when it hit him. Zayn was only wearing a towel.

"Well I didn't say it was you haha." Zayn chuckled as he poured himself a glass of orange juice. Harry was too busy scanning Zayn's body with his eyes to pay attention to what his mouth was saying. Zayn's dark hair was damp, matted against his forehead. His face was freshly shaved and just everything about him struck Harry as beautiful. Harry never thought of his mates this way. "You okay Harry?" Zayn smiled cheekily, realizing his body was being admired.

"I-I.." Harry's eyes snapped up from Zayn's waist to his face.

"You're a strange one." Zayn laughed loudly messing up Harry's mess of hair. Harry just laughed nervously. "Hey so later you wanna go do something."

"Like what." Harry said huskily.

"I don't know! Something fun! Haven't been outside in 2 days now." Zayn took a sip of orange juice. Harry's eyes locked onto his throat as he gulped it down. He got distracted and didn't make a reply to Zayn's remark. Zayn looked at him confused. "You alright Haz?"

"M fine." Harry put on the biggest, most fake grin he could create.

"Oh fine then, don't tell me what's wrong." Zayn rolled his eyes and was up the stairs to get changed with his glass of orange juice in hand. Harry was left with his thoughts, and the wet footprints of where Zayn once stood, a few moments ago.

"Hey Harry!" The silence was quickly interrupted by a now wide awake Louis Tomlinson. But seeing his best mate happy and smiling instantly made him do the same. Louis had that sort of effect on people.

"Hey Lou." Harry smiled at the shorter, yet older boy. He smiled back.

"You wanna hang out today? Do something fun?" Louis asked Harry, seemingly out of breath. Harry quickly replied.

"Why yes of course." He figured he'd do anything to get his mind off of Zayn. And if that meant ditching the Bradford man, so be it.

"Great! Meet me at the boat at around 3, I'm gonna go get cleaned up." And just like that, Louis took off up the stairs.

A few hours later, Zayn came downstairs, wearing a jean jacket and a plain white tee, to see Harry sat on the couch watching television. "Hey man have you decided what we're gonna do today?" Zayn said stepping of the last step. Harry turned his head around to face Zayn.

"I actually told Lou I'd go somewhere with him sorry." He said deeply, turning back around. His face showed guilt and he wanted to hide it from Zayn.

"Oh that's fine I understand." Zayn tried to smile. He was really looking forward to spending a day with Harry. "Some other time then?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure." Harry replied, not bothering to turn around. At this point he just wanted the olive skinned boy to disappear.