POINT OF VIEW → bts fanfiction

Chapter 23

Taehyung's P.O.V

I sat on Nabi's bed in silence. Just staring at her wall. How long had it been? An hour? Two? I was alone again. She wouldn't talk to me.

We'd driven home in Namjoon's car in silence, while the rest of the members took Yoongi's car. Nabi had just stared at her lap the whole time, while Namjoon told me how stupid I'd been. That almost made me wish he hadn't found out about Nabi and me. I don't know what happened to Rachel, she'd probably taken a bus home, like how we'd gotten there in the first place.

All I had wanted to do was see Nabi and the guys. She had told me where they were going, and Rachel was all for it. But I regretted it so badly. If only I'd just stay put or not called Nabi. If only I'd just gone home. I didn't, however, regret punching Jackson. Not at all. I didn't regret sticking up for Nabi. Even if she was upset with me again. So I had stayed silent and not argued with Namjoon, although in my head, I felt no shame for my actions. When we'd gotten back to Namjoon's house, she just started walking away without a word. I don't know how she got back to my house. She didn't return any of my calls or texts.

"You're so stupid," I told myself, laying my back on the bed.

My stomach hurt again. Maybe because I hadn't eaten, or because I was alone again. She almost forgave you. I thought.

"Aish! Why do you feel like this? Who cares if she forgives you or not?" I snapped.

I do.

••••••

I was walking through the school hallway in search of Nabi, when Jimin appeared in front of me.

"Hey, Nabi." He gave a small wave.

I gave him a quick bow, though I was still scanning the crowd of students for her.

"I-I know Namjoon and the other guys are kind of upset...but.." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought what you did yesterday was pretty cool."

"Wait, what? You mean how I hit Jackson?" I turned to him in surprise.

"Um, yeah. I mean it was so sudden, like--"

"Nabi!" I cried, at the sight of my own self walking down the hall.

"What?" Jimin asked.

"Ha, that's me." I gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder. "Anyway I gotta go, catch ya later, Jimin!"

I ran down the hall in pursuit of Nabi. It didn't take long to catch up to her, though, since she was walking at a slow pace. I stopped myself from shouting Nabi again.

"V!" I called instead.

She paused, then turned to me. I walked up in relief.

"Why did you leave last night without saying anything? I mean, after all that happened." I shook my head in remembrance.

She didn't respond.

"Okay, I know you're mad at me. Everyone is, but I did all of it for a reason. I'm not completely reckless, you know." I smirked, though it didn't seem like a good time for humor.

"Are you sure about that?" She said, finally.

"I--I mean, I guess..."

"I don't think you know what reckless means."

"What--"

"Recklessness is when you take action without thinking of anyone around you," Nabi said.

Now I was silent.

"V, I don't think you understand why I'm upset."

"Actually, I don't," I snapped, suddenly fed up. "You know what I think? I think you act so noble all the time, like you're some perfect angel. I think you've tricked yourself into believing that you're a perfect human being! You think that I'm a reckless, perverted teenager who doesn't have a brain, but at least I know I'm not the best kind of person! I know sometimes I act like it, and sometimes I come close to thinking I am, but I'm not! And you're not either. I think you should stop acting like your better than me, because we're exactly the same and you know it! And that's why you take the smallest mistakes I make and turn them into huge problems that you claim ruin your life! You don't want to accept the fact that you're no better than I am." I stopped, gasping for air.

She watched me, with a calm expression. It was almost eerie how the words I'd said seemed to have no affect on her.

"That's where you're wrong," Nabi finally responded, so quiet I could barely hear her. "I have never and will never think highly of myself. I'm not noble, and I'm not perfect. Do you know how many friends I have? I have one friend. You make me sound so confident, as if I have too many friends too count. Like I'm popular or something. You make it sound like you know exactly who I am, and like I think I know who you are. But I don't. I don't even know myself." She looked up, and I realized she had tears in her eyes. "The reason I am upset is because I have no idea who you are. I'm upset with myself and you're making it worse. Because I've switched bodies with a complete stranger, who seems like a different person every time I see them. I tried to understand you, and I tried to forgive you the first time. But how can I forgive someone I don't even know. Someone who thinks they know me?"

"Nabi..." I started.

"While I'm in your place, I'm actually going to try to be believable. I'm not going to mess things up for you. I'm going to really try to do well at the showcase." She turned around. "Oh, sorry. I hope that didn't sound too noble."

The coolness in her last words stung as she began to walk again. I'd never meant to mess up so badly. I'd never meant to let all of those words rush out of my mouth. I'd come to gain forgiveness, but had only made things so much worse. Nabi would never forgive me now. Now, the moment I wanted her forgiveness the most.

Nabi's P.O.V

The tears didn't sting my eyes as much as his words stung my heart. He was right. I was a horrible person. If only all of this hadn't happened. If only we hadn't made that one wish. Who needed courage? All I wanted was my life back.