Behind the Scenes | Harry Styles

Chapter 8

Friday, January 1st, 2016

My bladder woke me up at 8 AM on New Year's Day. 

Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I stumbled my way into the bathroom and took a seat on the toilet. I was still wearing the same clothes from last night, and they smelled like a skeezy bar, almost as if I'd been bathing in alcohol all night rather than drinking it.

It took a couple of seconds for last night's events to come back to me since I was still half-asleep, but a wave of shame came over me as soon as I began remembering my actions. Although my memory was pretty fuzzy, the cracked screen on my phone was a painful reminder of the breakup. That's all the evidence I needed to know last night hadn't just been a horrible dream. 

I should have felt relieved. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, I had been considering breaking up with Tyler for weeks before New Year's. Tyler and I were completely different people compared to when we started dating, and we wanted different things from a relationship. The clear lack of trust and shoddy communication paired with his violent outburst the night before were also obvious signs of an unhealthy relationship, so why was it that all I wanted to do was call him and work out our problems?

I pressed the home button on my phone and scrolled through my notifications, hoping to see Tyler's name attached to any kind of alert. There wasn't a single missed call or text from him. Dejectedly, I replied to the texts from friends and family wishing me a happy new year, before opening a message from Gigi. 

Gigi 3:24 AM: Yes!! I'll let Zayn know the great news. :)

Fuck. Agreeing to Zayn's music video would certainly come back and bite me in the ass. I'd only agreed to do it out of pettiness. Assuming Gigi had already told Zayn the news, it was too late for me to take the offer back, so I just sent Monica a quick text letting her know I'd accepted Zayn's offer so she could arrange all the important details. Monica certainly wouldn't be happy with me for springing her with this new information out of nowhere, but her feelings were the least of my worries at the moment.

At the risk of sounding clingy, I decided to text Tyler as well. I was sure he wouldn't reply, but it was worth a try. I figured rejection wouldn't hurt nearly as badly considering the humiliation I suffered when he left me half-naked the night before. 

8:32 AM: Hey, Ty. Please call me when you see this.

Feeling antsy, I decided to pay Mia a visit. Even though she was only about two years older than me, she always seemed to know what to do in every situation. She'd probably have some great advice for dealing with a breakup that my inexperienced self wouldn't be able to think of. Tyler had been my first real relationship, so I wasn't very skilled in the breakup department. 

Without bothering to change out of last night's outfit or removing my fucked up makeup, I threw on a pair of black chelsea boots and sunglasses before walking out the door. 

I made my way to the parking garage of my apartment complex and climbed into my car. I was, surprisingly, not very hung over so I felt safe enough to drive. That was the only bright side to my otherwise shitty morning. 

I was nearly at Mia's place before I remembered to turn on the radio. Music was the only enjoyable part of driving, but my mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of Tyler the entirety of the drive. 

"And now with the latest single from their new album Made in the A.M., here's One Direction," stated the radio announcer. I let out a small screech before switching the station. Harry was the last person I wanted to think about at the moment.