"Ava. " i snapped up at the mention of my name.
"Yes Mom?" I asked, looking at John's mom at the door.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
"I'm coming." I said getting up, Noah looked at me as i went into the house.
She was sitting in the dining room. I took a seat next to her.
"I had given you a talk before. I told you that everyone is hurting, your friends, his parents, me, your parents, your brothers. Everyone. But you mostly because you have known him your entire life and you guys have always been close. But my Love, he wouldn't want this. He wouldn't want you to not allow yourself to be really happy because of him."
She looked at me, with tears in her eyes just at the mention of him.
"Mom, I know. It's just that... I do try to be happy. I started hanging out with everyone and i started going out now. It's just that one time i'm happy but then i remember him. I remember every single memory and sometimes they come all at once. And some make me happy and some make me so sad. Then there's the one of his death that comes piece by piece every night. And that's the thing that breaks. I understand that everyone goes one day. I still think everything is my fault . "
I saw her about to say something , "No mom, let me talk. I think everything is my fault and i didn't get the chance to talk to him. He didn't let me. I'm okay but the only reason i'm still sad is because i think that its my fault and i didn't get to say anything to him." I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from coming out. But as soon as i opened my eyes, they rolled down my cheeks and i tasted the salty substance.
She stretched out her hands, wiping my tears.
"That's what's wrong. Everyone else is- i'm not saying they got over it because no one has and no one will - they're happy because they understand that's how life works. Things happen and there's nothing we can do about it. You just need to stop blaming yourself. That's the only way you can be truly happy. You need to let go and accept that its not your fault, okay?"
I nodded, giving her a small smile.
She held my head and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
She's right but they don't know how terrible i feel, how guilty i feel. And that i've tried so many times to be happy, to stop blaming myself but i can't. Because it is my fault. But i will take her advice and try again.
I wanted to ask her about Noah. Why was he here? John didn't mention anything about all of a sudden he's living with them. I can't ask her, it's probably personal.
We both snapped up at the sound of footsteps, everyone came piling in. They passed us and went into the living room. No one looked at us because they knew that i needed a talk with mom.
"Ava, can you go call Noah? " Mason shouted from the living room.
Confused i asked, "Where is he?"
"In his room. Go get him." He replied.
"What? Why? You go get him." I glared from my seat at the dining table.
Mom chuckled, getting up to clear the kitchen.
" Just ask him if he's not coming down. And I'm in the middle of a game right now. " Mason shouted.
Groaning, i got up, knowing the others would put up a fight then mom would've asked me to go and then i'd have to.
I stomped on the stairs so they can hear, " I LOVE YOU AVA TOO!!" I heard Mason shouted while laughing.
YOU ARE READING
Saviour
HumorHe was the reason she was still breathing. But now that he's gone, he might just be the reason for her death but will that still happen when someone comes into her life and teaches her to let go? Makes her truly happy again? Makes her feel complete...
