Who needs friends? Not me.

Dying is peaceful.

What the actual fuck just happened?

My hand burned as I ripped out the silver knife from my hip as quick as I could, there was a sickening sizzling sound that I soon realised to be the skin on my hand burning off as the knife slipped out of it and dropped to the floor. Everything was in slow motion, I could still see Libby swaying her hips as she so slowly walked out of the kitchen, I heard the knife bounce off the floor a couple of times and then lay flat. Libby turned in the kitchen doorway and blew me a kiss before leaving.

I stood there shocked placing a shaking hand over my wound; I tried to put pressure on it to stop the blood. There was so much blood.

I spun around and saw my mate; he was laughing and talking to his friends oblivious of what had happened. I couldn’t breathe and the word “Colton” barely came out as a whisper but he heard me, and his head snapped in my direction. He looked down at my hands as I showed him my palms covered in blood.  His face went blank then a split second later he was rushing towards me. “Who?” he demanded as he picked me up and carried me to the sofa “Libby” he went to get up but I heard “Stay with her, I’ll deal with this bitch” Anna turned and ran out of the room. I heard frantic running and shouts for the doctor around me but all I was doing was looking at Colton “It’s going to be alright, the doctors coming just hold on okay I love you so much it’s going to be alright” I smiled at him, it’s not going to be alright.

I knew I was going to die, I could feel it.

 I could feel the silver killing me from the inside out, my whole body was on fire. I have always wondered what dying feels like, is it peaceful or does it really hurt? I suppose its how you go really and for me it is painful. I never wanted to die like this, I wanted to be old and go peacefully in my sleep, no pain. But I guess not everyone gets what they ask for and life just isn’t that nice is it?

 I was calm, probably the only calm person in the room. Colton was holding one of my hands and was crying while my mum was holding my other one and doing the same. I’ve never saw him cry before and it broke my heart. I smiled up at them “it’s okay I’ll be fine, I love you guys you know that right” My mum was straight balling her eyes out and shaking her head whilst Colton was shaking with sobs, I squeezed both of their hands trying to comfort them.

The doctor rushed into the room and started doing all these things to me, sticking a needle in here and there and putting an oxygen mask on me. It’s right what they say about your life flashing before your eyes and can I just say that I’ve had a pretty shit life, but there were some good times. I saw the time where me and mum went to the cinema and had an argument with this lady because she pushed in front of us while we were in the queue to get ice cream and the security guard escorted us out because mum started to throw her popcorn at the woman whilst swearing her head off.  I saw the time Colton first asked me out when we were really young he did it in the most stupid way he could, he was too shy to ask me to my face so he wrote on a slip of paper “will you go out with me, tick yes or yes” and I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.

It’s the little things in life that make it worth it, spending time with your family, going out, having sleepovers with your best friend, laughing so hard that it hurts. I don’t think I really did everything I wanted with my life and that I will regret. But the thing that I will hate is not being able to grow old with the people that I love.

I couldn’t feel anything anymore because of all the stuff the doctor injected me with to stop the pain. I was getting sleepy and I looked at my mum and Colton for one last time, soaking up every last inch of them before everything went black.

I guess dying was peaceful after all.