Sol & Luna [ o.h/u.c. ]

luna ; 10

Everything felt terrible.

There was only one thing running through my mind, one thought that runs laps and jumps the hurdles of rational thinking and passes by any positive thoughts so it can make it through the finish line first, implanting the idea into my brain before I can process the whole thing.

He looked away from me.

I can remember it clearly, like it happened a few moments ago. It's a scene that replays over and over and over and over, mocking me as my mind shows me every detail of that dreadful day.

Him, looking at me like I am a masterpiece then realizing that I'm just another painting in a gallery full of artworks. Him, trying to build down my walls with just a look in my eyes then giving up as he realizes that the more he tears down, the more I build up.

I walk the halls of the hell that is school, distracted and hurt as I can see that he's fine without me. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, no matter who I'm with, he will always be fine without me.

I guess it was my own fault.

I pushed him away. I pushed everyone away.

Because I didn't want to get hurt anymore, because all I know is pain and hurt and sadness.

But now I see that it was a mistake, something that cannot be so easily corrected with an apology and a smile.

If I tried to approach him, it would just result to the same outcome. He would look away.

I love him. I was just so blinded by false intentions and fake grins and deceptive eyes that I listened to my heart rather than my brain.

I love him, but I am afraid that my broken heart can never heal. It can never let him in. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I just want the pain to stop.

I just want everything to stop.