Good Morning Poetry

I'm Gone

First time

said you thought it over

asked me to say it wasn't over

asked me to come crawling back

tears in my eyes, smile on my face

Second time

said you didn't understand

why I couldn't help you stand

help you back up to my level

well sorry dear, I was on the floor too

Third time

you gave me one last chance

to hold both of your hands

and say, "Totally! I don't know what I was thinking!"

well sorry dear, doesn't work that way

I blamed myself at first

Thought a lot of angry thoughts

burning red, and then an ice cold purple

like the color of the bruises on my sorry self-respect

I said you deserved better than that fear

that fear that swallowed me up and spit me out ugly

So many times after you said you weren't over me

you missed me, you hadn't let go just yet

and I sat silent, thinking the same towards you

and hoping your words were actually honest

guess they weren't

The looks you used to give me

and the looks you give me now

share intensity and opacity

but are a different hue

you glare at me as if to say

How could you do this to me?

How could you ever reject me?

well newflash, I wanted better for you

unselfish words came out selfish

I guess

Now your lips are sealed

you don't even try to be friends

don't look at me, smile that smile like you used to

a whole trip around the son and boy those hues have changed

like any feelings I ever felt towards you

Well newsflash, you're an asshole

and I'm so fucking sick of your little games

little petals scattered on the wind like

"He likes me, he likes me not"

I'm so sick of your expectations for me to come crawling back on my knees

I'm my own damn person, I can make up my own mind

I'm not your obidient little girlfriend who's gonna feed your ego

I'm so sick of blaming myself and hating myself for your mistakes

So that's it

I'm done

I'm burning that little slideshow of us playing in my mind

I'm not being your friend, or aquaintance, or anything

I'm sterilizing my heart

and standing up on my fixed knees

you're not gonna hear them creak

I'm cleaning out my wounds, taping them up and forgetting.

I don't need shit from you

I'm a self-suffcient life form

who can produce confidence on her own

So that's it I'm done

That's the last time I ever listen to your "I miss you" bullshit

That's the last time I ever blame myself

That's the last time I ever miss you

Because I'm standing up on my own

I'm out of heartbreak hospital

and I don't need crutches or casts

to support my walk down "it's just life" avenue

So stop thinking I need you - because I don't.

Sorry dear, but it's a big world

it's too late for you to give your movie speech

Congratulations,

you lost me

I'm gone.