I wish you didn't fucking exist in my mind.
Because then id be perfectly fine, I would still know that one sort of love and that is pain and I wish you didn't teach me how to feel a sunshine in my heart when you're smiling at my rambles, I wish i didn't have to remember the size of your hand and how you always gravitate to the corner of the elevator, I wish I didn't fucking still remember the feel your satin skin sleeping next to me and how you always knew the truth, even if I never wanted to admit it, and I hate myself so fucking much and you showed me that people truly have such depth and I am disappointed in whom I am and I fuck feel like no ones ever happy with me, no one can truly enjoy my company, and that no one could ever truly desire me without the intention of hurting me or just leaving.
And I fucking wish I never loved you because it is the thing that finished off my mentality and completely slapped me into the reality of what life and love and learning is.
And honestly I think I wish the most that I could unlearn you completely.
