Miro Maldivar.
Thoughts or should I say memories? Filled my mind. Everything.
He's wearing a darl grey V-neck and his casual pants. Wala na ang ngisi at seryoso na uli ang mukha. Halos walang pinagbago sa loob ng dalawang taon.
And I can't believe myself checking him right now!
I stared at him. Yes. I am fully aware. His eyes,yung matangos niyang ilong,his full and red lips at ang panga niyang umigting. Titig na titig sa akin. Like he's searching through me the reaction he wants to see. Nangungusap ang mga mata. No,shit.
"Uh..." kinalas ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak parin sa baywang ko.
Nawala ang ngbabadyang luha. Tumingin ako kay Theo na ngayon ay nakatitig pala sa amin. Nakaawang ang bibig nilang pareho ni Camilla.
I cleared my throat.
Napatingin sa akin si Theo at tumalin ang titig niya. For a moment, I thought he's mad at me. But I know better. He's feeling something that he shouldn't be feeling.
I can't help but to grin inwardly.
"Long time no shit?"
"Whatever." umirap lamamg si Camilla.
I dunno! This is freaking awkward. And why would it be?
I just flipped my hair and stormed out. Bwiset!
Panira. Panira talaga ang gagong yun! Now what? I did not get what I want and I have to deal with someone I don't really need right now. Thanks to him.
Dumiretso na ako sa una kong klase. Good thing late ang prof. He came in twenty minutes after. Gave handouts and proceeded with his lessons. But I can't concentrate. What a cliche thing to say.
But really,I can't.
My thoughts drifted to the scene earlier. Why is he here? Why did he come back? As if naman hindi siya pwedeng bumalik. Why am I bothered anyway. I forfod myself. I don't care.
As soon as I got out,I dialed Chloe's number.
"What?" we're not introduced to hi and hello thing.
"Castillo,where are you?"
I can't help to notice some students stare at me. And bilis talaga kumalat ng balita.
"Cafeteria."
"K." inirapan ko yung iba at nagsimulang maglakad papuntang Cafeteria.
My plan about Theo, I think I'll let it pass for now. He'll still come running to me before I know it. I'll let Camilla have him...for now. Magpakasaya sila. Siya. Dahil hindi ako ang uuwi ng umiiyak.
Noise and food smell welcomed me. I scanned the area and found Chloe. Nasa gitnang table,the usual. At malungkot. Wala siyang problema,I know her too well. Moodswing?
"Hey." tinignan niya ako gamit ang naluluhang mga mata.
"Pwede ba..."
Kumikibot-kibot pa ang labi niya at naluluhang tumitig sa akin. What's wrong with this girl?
"...kung ba-bastedin mo ako? Wag muna ngayon. Pangalawang rejection ko na kasi ngayong araw. Masyado ng masakit."
A tear dropped and some of the girls are looking at us! Nasa gitna kami at gumagawa siya ng komusyon.
"Basted? What the hell are you talking about?" I hissed at her.
Tumango lamang siya.
"Hindi nila ako tinanggap sa play kasi di ko daw kamukha si Mama Mary..." and she wailed.
I gaped at her. Some are really into is right now,inoobserbahan kami!
Basted? I'm sure it's not me. But I have never seen her with a guy before. She hates guys! She automatically gets moody whenever---
I blankly stared at her. Giving my coldest stare.
"What..." still no.
She laughed out loud while on tears. Here she goes. I don't know why I'm keeping her around though she irritates the hell out of me. Why?
"What's wrong with you? You made a scene."
She looked around. Rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"I heard something..." I snickered.
"Of course you did."
Bored people. Ganoon ba ka boring ang buhay nila? Still they don't get the pass to stick their nose on our business.
Her smile widened. "And it's Chloe Castillo! Ano ang hindi mo alam? And please not now. Wala ako sa mood." she pouted. So moody.
"So did you like it?"
Taka ko siyang tinignan habang nginunguya niya ang fries. Pinasa niya sa akin ang cup ng Potato Corner. Kumuha ako ng ilan doon.
"What?"
"My act! How I did my lines?" pumalakpak pa siya.
Nagkibit-balikat ako.
"The thing earlier. I need to do good on it." she sighed and continued to eat.
"Oh,that? Wht now? Gonna join Drama Club?"
Ngumisi ako at bahagyang natawa. That's absurd. She hates it. Kaya naman nagulat ako sa sunod niyang sinabi.
"Yes."
"Who banged you, you lost your mind?"
I can't believe her. She hates drama and anything connected to it including that horrible club! I can sense something here. I eyed her closely but she just innocently stared at me.
"Anoooo? Grabe ka naman. I just had a change of heart." kinamot niya ang hintuturo niya. I know that move too well.
"Don't lie to me." tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.
"Change of heart? What are we? In some sort of Frozen scene?" she slapped my arm.
"Oh bakit? Ikaw lang pwede magbago? Ikaw nga ang di pa over diyan---"
"Stop."
Tumayo ako at tumakbo palabas. I don't need her words. I heard her call after me pero hindi ako lumingon.
I told her not to mention it! And I hate it! I hate myself for still being affected.
No. I got over it okay. I just don't like repeating and replaying things. I am not a fan.
And no. I did not change myself. Didn't we all have that personality? Akala mo nagbago kana. Akala ng lahat nagbago ka. But no,it's just the self you've always hide. The self you want to be. The self you should be. And the time you try embracing it,they'll label it as 'change'.
No. We grow,we learn...every damn time. It's constant. Growing and learning. Just painting the pieces left for our personalities to really mature,not changing.
