Mission 'Don't get killed'

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I have been up all night, trying to build a fake mindscape around my real one. It kind of works the same as building walls to protect your mindscape, though it has more dept and it has to look exactly like a real mindscape. The only positive thing about building a fake mindscape is that you have complete control about what you put in it and if you protect it well enough, your real memories and thoughts can't leak into it, so I can't accidentally give away something when I think about it. The harder part is to create fake memories. Matt gave me stacks of photos that come from our spies, which are supposed to inspire me for my fake mindscape. I feel like it's way too empty though, which will probably make Kendrick Arlana suspicious. Then I suddenly get an idea which gives me some new hope.

An hour later, I'm sitting in Matt's office and he's trying to break into my mindscape. It feels weird, because I can't feel him, only when I really concentrate I notice the faint sensation around my mindscape, indicating that someone is trying to break through my barriers. I have set up my fake mindscape, protecting it better than I ever have, and I concentrate on keeping the barriers up and the fake mindscape intact. It feels like ages, but only a few minutes later, Matt opens his eyes and looks at me.

'That was very good, Zoë.' He says approvingly. 'I think you're approach is very inventive and it works quite well.' I only nod. I'm very glad my idea worked, but I won't let him feel too good about complimenting me.

'I couldn't break through it, so that's a good sign.'

'It helps that you're not mindbreaking others as well.' Matt says. 'It saves your energy and mental strength.' That's true, in the past I've tried to do this as well, but usually the mindbreaking I did for Matt left me too exhausted to keep up my walls. 'I'm currently working out the details about how we can get you to Arlana, but I'll be done soon enough. For now, you can go.'

A day later, I'm called into Matt's office again, this time not only to let Matt try to break into mindscape but also to go through the whole plan he has made which is supposed to get me to Arlana.

'So, on Friday, when the sun has set and it's just after curfew, we will bring you to the area where we know Arlana operates. Just act confused and their scouters will do the rest. I will try to send some scouters and manipulators with you, but I'm afraid they can't do a lot, since they are not supposed to be spotted, that will blow the whole plan. Then you will most likely be taken in and Arlana will want to see you. Keep up your fake mindscape, there are going to be several mindbreakers trying to break you.' Involuntarily, I shudder at these words. 'Try and gain his trust and then you have to try and break into the minds of his men, they will probably have information about where you can find Zac and Sara. Try and find out who Arlana trusts and who will know about his plans. Remember, his organisation won't differ a lot from ours.' Matt's face turns sour when he admits this. 'Which means he won't share all his information with one person, but spreads it. No one will know everything, so make sure you don't just mindbreak one.' He looks at me with raised eyebrows, as if he's afraid I will do a lousy job and come back with not enough information. Which sounds very appealing. I regret my decision to go along with this whole thing more and more now that time is running out but I know I can't go back. I'm lucky that Riley had already erased the spy before he managed to escape because if he would have been able to recognise me, I would be dead immediately.

'Just prepare yourself and remember, don't tell anyone about this.' He must see the guilty look on my face. 'Who knows?' He barks.

'Rachel.' I say. 'I had to tell someone!' I defend myself immediately. 'It's a big deal.'

'Well, what's done is done. And Rachel doesn't really pose a threat anyway.' It sounds like he thinks she might not be trustworthy, but I know he just means that chances are low that Rachel will get caught and in that way would give away valuable information when someone breaks into her mind.

'Tomorrow, I want you back here, so I can try to break through your mindscape once more.' Matt says and he gets up from his desk and walks to the door to open it and let me out.

I find Andy in the kitchen, baking a few eggs while Kelsey is darting around his legs. 'You want some?' He asks when I enter.

'If you don't mind, that would be great.' I smile and I gently pull Kelsey away from him. 'Come on Kelsey, your daddy is busy and we don't want you to get hurt.'

'Thanks.' Andy grins, looking affectionately at his daughter.

I pull Kelsey on my lap when I sit down on one of the chairs at the long table that occupies almost all the available space in the kitchen. Even though the table is big, it's still not big enough to seat all of us and we usually eat in separate groups.

Andy places a plate in front of me and I dive into it, I haven't eaten yet because Matt almost dragged me from my bed, barely giving me some time to dress before he could break into my mindscape. When I complained about not having had anything to eat, he just remarked that I wouldn't be allowed to eat at Arlana's either and that I had to be able to control my mindscape defense even when I wasn't at my strongest. And of course, he had a point.

'Hungry, huh?' Andy grins while he sits down opposite of me. I can only nod in agreement and we eat in silence.

'Ouch!' I suddenly exclaim. Kelsey is yanking at my hair and giggles when she hears my protest, which only causes her to pull even harder at the strands of long, dark brown hair.

'Kelsey, stop it.' Andy scolds. 'That's not nice.'

I manage to release my hair from her iron grip and feed her some egg to distract her from my hair.

'I want hair like yours.' Kelsey says when she has swallowed her bite and she starts stroking my hair.

'Well, then you have to very nice. Because only nice kids get rewarded with long hair. When you're not nice, it will never grow.' Andy tells her and a frightened look spreads on Kelseys face.

'He's just kidding.' I tell her and feed her another bite.

'Can I brush your hair?' She then asks, looking at me with her big eyes.

'If you promise to be careful.' I tell her.

'I will!' She says eagerly and she jumps of my lap.

'You have to pinkiepromise, otherwise it doesn't count.' I say and I hold up my pinkie for her and she links hers with mine before she runs of to get a hairbrush. I look at her and suddenly a wave of sadness washes over me. What will they tell her when I'm gone? What will Matt tell the others? He can't tell the truth to everyone, that would be too dangerous.

'I heard Matt is sending you off on some kind of mission.' Andy says as if he has just read my thoughts. So he knows I'm leaving but not for what. I know he's not fishing for information, everyone here knows it's better to just mind your own business, he's probably just concerned.

'Yes.' I just say.

'I just wanted to wish you good luck.' Andy smiles weakly at me and I return his smile with a watery one of my own. Then Kelsey runs back into the kitchen, armed with a hairbrush, and the moment we shared is gone.

After a painful hairbrushing sension of Kelsey- she meant well, but she just has to work on the gentle part- I'm going downstairs, hoping to find Karen in the training area. All of our rooms are on the second floor or third floor of an old building, which has been totally stripped, but despite the bare walls it still feels warm and like home. We illegally tap power and water, though they're not very reliable and often we find ourselves without it and even more often we have to deal with ice cold water. There are two improvised showers and toilets and of course there's the kitchen, the infirmary, a common room and Matt's office. The rest of the space is occupied by bedrooms, which vary in size. Downstairs, there's the training area, some space where we do business, and the highly secured storage area, of which no one knows exactly what is being kept there, except for Matt, of course.

Then there's also the courtyard, where the Friday fights take place and where we have our campfires and burials.

Karen is nowhere to be found, so she probably left with a group of scouters. Today we have power, so I go back upstairs to the common room to watch some television and ignore the fact that I'll have to leave this place in less than a week.