Stay With Me (Dramione Fanfic)

Chapter Five

A/N bit of a Halsey quote there for anyone who's a fan *raises hand all the way to the sky*

Draco Malfoy

Lying in the uncomfortable hospital chair with Hermione beside me in her probably only slightly more comfortable bed, I silently cursed myself.

How could I have been this stupid? I should have insisted that she stay with Potter or Pansy or something. In the moments when I first got here I wasn't thinking and made stupid mistakes. I let her see that I cared for her, and I know it was the panic of thinking she could have died but I was weak. If my father wasn't locked away in Azkaban I imagine I would have been punished for such a show of weakness and emotion. I should have let her to continue to believe that I was angling to get my parents back.

With thoughts of my father came thoughts of my mother, as always. I know it was my father that pushed her over the edge. He broke her down in so many ways and I knew that no matter how long I lived I would never forgive him for that. That or my stupid dark mark. I wanted to make him proud of me for once in my life and all it resulted in was a quick 'Well done Draco, you didn't even whimper like I figured you would.' I regretted it as soon as it was done because it took away any doubt that I could walk in the light, it meant that for the rest of my life I would be a dark shadow cast upon anything I came into contact with. I had gotten used to only wearing long sleeves in public so I didn't have to see the glaring disapproval in the eyes of those I came across.

I rolled my sleeve up and tapped my wand to the grey outline of my once black mark. Of course it didn't do anything when I tapped it now, but sometimes it felt good to remind myself that he couldn't come back this time. It looked more like a scar than anything else now but it was still an ugly reminder of the many wrongs I've done.

I slipped out from under my blanket, easing my hand out of Hermione's. I felt a familiar feeling settle over me, the feeling of being so dirty that I could never clean myself or right my wrongs no matter how hard I tried and I didn't feel like holding her hand as I stared down at another wrong I had allowed, printed in my aunt's scrawling hand. I walked into the bathroom and leaned over the sink, gripping it's edges very tightly and raising my head to stare at my reflection. I didn't like what I saw. I'm not going to deny that I'm attractive, pale skin, ivory hair, blue eyes and a slight stubble but that didn't mean anything if you took a peak at what was on the inside. On the inside I'm sure I look worse than absolute shit. I turned the tap on and let the icy water run into my hands before splashing it up onto my face and hair. I felt the sting as the water dripped into my eyes, and the coldness like a shock as the droplets rolled down my neck and into my shirt.

I walked over to the bathroom door and shut it as quietly as I could before turning the shower on, making sure the temperature was scalding before undressing and drawing the curtain closed around me. I knew it was technically meant for patients but I needed to shower, as if I could somehow scrub who I was from my skin. As I scrubbed my skin raw I heard a voice calling my name over the rush of water.

"Draco? Is that you?" I heard Hermione call.

"Yes, why? Is something wrong?" I replied, shutting off the water as I did so.

"No, I just . . . well I woke up and you weren't there I thought you might have left," her voice was small as she spoke. This version of Hermione was so unlike the one I used to know.

"I said I wouldn't," I answered as I stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my hips.

"Yeah, well Ron used to promise me that he loved me and that he would never hurt me ever again and then he would go and do it again, so excuse me if I have some minor trust issues." And there she was, a little bit of the sarcasm and fire peeking through her scared exterior. "I don't know why I didn't leave him, I was stupid not to."

"Sometimes we do things because we love a person so much, or we think we owe them, or we used to think we knew everything about them. Sometimes people screw up for the people they love the most, its part of human nature. And don't misunderstand me because I don't particularly like Ron and I don't agree with what he did to you, but he was dealing with a lot of grief and instead of confiding in you, he turned to alcohol and violence to cope. It's easy to do," at that Hermione turned around to face me. She gave me a once over before meeting my amused gaze, her brown eyes still held so much warmth in them despite what she has been through. She took a step closer to me so that her body was almost against mine. I felt the smirk slip from my lips as she reached up and linked her arms behind my neck, puling me down towards her.