1- Chickendick

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Connie laid his bald head in his hands, muttering to himself, "I just don't know what to do anymore." His seventeen bald younger sisters were all gay and wrestling on the living room floor without a care. They didn't know how bad they had it. 

That was when Connie saw the ad for the new strip club on the television. "Whoa!" he exclaimed. "This could be my chance! I could save this family."

Dominique looked up from the wrestling pile and smiled at her brother. "You go, bro. Do what you have to do. As soon as I can get a job, I swear I'll help. But for now, it's all up to you."

Connie threw on his $7,000,000 sunglasses and strode out the door. As he passed the doorman of his apartment, Eren Jaeger, he felt more confident than he ever had before. 

"Hey chickendick! How's it goin'?" Eren asked, holding his arm securely around his super gay, flamboyent bf, Levi.

Connie turned to him, "I'm going to try out to be a stripper!" he exclaimed. 

Eren nodded his head in resignation. "A respectable job."

Connie continued his stroll down the street, finally reaching his destination.

In big, bold letters, the neon sign read:

GIANT MASSIVE COCK CLUB

Connie gasped. He felt at home already.

When entering the doors, he noticed the delicious smell of microwave pasta cooking in the kitchen. Mmm, he thought to himself. That smells like semen. There was a huge line at the tryout room, which was actually labeled as 'Alphabet Soup' (Alphabet Doug). Lining up at the back of the line, he observed the competitors. There was a small, blond male who probably had a small dick, too, a brunette who was eating a plastic bag and had another bag full of smaller plastic bags beside her, and some weird, fugly lookin' kid who had a shit ton of freckles.

"Hmm," he hummed. "This is some intense competition."

It was then that a large, blond man came out of the doors of the tryout room. He was wearing a tight, pink, cheetah-print tank top and an ascot, paired with sparkly sequin, mid-thigh sport shorts, and tall, black go-go boots. He was the sexiest man that Connie had ever seen, and he would be lying if he said he didn't get a raging hard on just at the sight of him.

"Welcome everyone!" he said, gesturing at the crowd with his hands.  "I'm Reiner Braun, the owner of this establishment, the GMCC, and I will be judging the tryouts today. Let's get started!"

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