The Girl who ran

The Girl Who Ran: Leave me alone

"Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."

― Mae West

  Beyoncé  POV:

It's been one week, a week exactly. Shawn's grandmother has come to Ms Gloria's house a few time with baked goods she said made her feel better. Shawn never touched them but I made sure to thank her and eat them with her, she was a very lovely woman much like Ms Gloria but unlike Shawn and I she had taken the death of her daughter much better.  She said death is inevitable and she'd much rather her daughter be up there in heaven then down here with all the pollution and the bad people, I laughed at her comment but Shawn just sat there holding me not wanting to let go. He always held me, it could be one hand on my leg, both arms wrapped around me, holding my hand. Either way he always held me and didn't let me go, at first I thought it was because he needed support and knew I was there to offer it but then I soon realised he was trying to protect me. In his own weird way he figured that if he always had an eye on me, or a finger at least then no one could hurt me too.  Of course we had moments apart from each other but they just hurt. I never thought I would crave him so much, his sadness had opened up a part of him I had never seen before and it made me love him just a little more. He's become someone I can go to and cry, someone I can sit with for hours but never have to hear or utter a word, he's become someone who wants nothing but the best for me and someone who I can support which I've never really done before. I've never had to support anyone but myself but now it was different. He needed me and I needed him. That didn't mean that thing's have been a perfect little vacation between the two of us though. No. 

He barely even talks 

I miss his voice for days before he'll talk again and it will only be to tell me to make sure I eat or make sure I'm okay and if I ask him about him he just shrugs and continues with his business. 

Today was my first day back at school after what happened, so far I had heard a bunch of 'I'm sorry" and "You okay?" of which I'd just reply with a smile because no I was not okay and no I do not accept your apology.  In lessons teachers had told me that they understood if I was unable to complete the work but that just made me want to do it even faster than the rest of the class which of course I did before receiving a worried look from everyone in the class and my friends who didn't think it was healthy to do so much work in such a short amount of time whilst grieving 

"BabyB, slow down. You don't need to do all of this work, it won't take your mind off her" Alicia had told me but I just looked away and back down at my work. I didn't want to take my mind off her, I just wanted to prove that I am not some silly little girl incapable of doing things by myself. Just because I don't have Ms Gloria any more it doesn't mean I can't do things and although I know that's not what they meant it's what it felt like.  I thought my day could get no worse until Andre walked up to me, 

"You look like you could use a laugh" He held out some flowers and I looked down at them. He had never really been any trouble but Shawn and Ms Gloria had both said they didn't like him and right now they were the two people I trusted the most in the world. I pushed the Flowers back toward him but he just pushed them in front of me again. "Fine, I get it you don't want to talk to me" It sure as hell took him a while, "But please just take the flowers, if not for you then for Ms Gloria or that Cop please. Just take 'em" He nodded his head and in attempt to get him away from me as fast as possible I smiled and took the flowers from him. That was at lunch time when I was making my way down to the lunch hall to eat with my girls of whom had managed to get a few laughs out of me. I then saw him again after school. "Hey, Beyoncé wait up!" He called as the girls walked away and Shawn's car began pulling up into the car park. I stopped walking and looked back at hi, " Let me take you out" He began but I immediately shook my head and tried to walk away from him but he grabbed my arm and yanked me back causing me to drop the flowers and my books as he held my arms. "Come on girl!" He yelled at me as he held me tightly. 

"Let go" I begged as I tried to move but he held me tighter, "You're hurting me!" I screamed at him but he tried taking me away when Shawn ran up and punched him so hard he fell to the floor and spat blood from his mouth. 

"Don't you dare touch her!" Shawn shouted before taking my hand and interlocking our fingers and picking up my books making sure to leave the flowers where they were and walking me away to the car. 

"Is your hand okay?" I asked him as I looked down at it and saw his knuckles already bruised a bit. He didn't reply. "Carter" I called as he opened my door and let me get in before closing the door and walking around to his side of the car. "Carter" I called again. "Talk to me" I commanded but he just started the car and didn't talk. "Please Shawn, please talk to me. I just want to know if your hand is okay"  I rested my hand on his leg but he pushed it away and so I looked out the window and wrapped my arms around myself. "Okay" I said. 

When we had got home he took me inside and I dropped my bad but before I had managed to even walk into one of the rooms I heard the door slam shut and turned to see that Shawn was gone. Great. 

Shawn POV:

I walked into the house stumbling a bit and turned on the light switch only to see her sitting on the stairs asleep. What was she doing down here? I looked at her body, still dressed in the clothes she wore today but with a book on her lap and her hair up in a bun as she rested her head on the banister. She'll hurt her neck like that. I walked over to her having sobered up a little bit and lifted her into my arms letting the book fall to the floor and I began walking up the stairs to put her in her bed. I kicked her bedroom door open and laid her on her bed taking off her shoes and jeans so that she was wearing a top and her socks. That seemed to be what she liked to sleep in so I left her to it before tucking her under the bedsheets and beginning to walk out. Shit my head hurts. 

"Shawn?" She asked in a tired voice. I paused and contemplated answering her or not, 

"What were you doing on the stairs?" I asked her before rubbing my head. Shit it really hurt. 

"I was waiting for you" She sat up in the bed and wrapped the sheets around herself better and I just smirked. 

"Don't do that" I went to walk out of the room but her voice stopped me,

"But I was worried about you" She said. She was worried about me, I had almost forgotten she worried about me too, I had almost forgotten anyone really cared about me because the one person who cared the most was gone now but there she sat worrying about me. I turned to her and squinted my eyes a little, "You went out and got drunk" She looked down and I sighed in guilt. I don't know why but it seems to be the only thing that helps, getting drunk numbs the pain of my mothers death just for a while. 

"Go to sleep" I told her but she looked at me with wet eyes that roamed over my collar before landing on my pants then she looked up a me and bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. I looked at my collar and saw lipstick stains before looking down at my pants to see my belt undone and my zipper down. 

"You had sex with someone? While you were drunk and I was here waiting for you" She pieced it all together and I instantly felt bad because I could see she wanted to cry and I could understand why. She sat waiting for me worried while I acted like a dick head and didn't bother think about her for a second. 

"I'm sorry" I began walking over to her but she just shook her head and let her tears fall out.

"Get out!" She yelled, "I don't want to see you. Go find that bitch you fucked and protect her,  go back to her if she's so much better than me and stay there. I don't care!" She laid down in her bed and turned away from me while I just paused. I couldn't leave her alone and I wasn't going to, I like her... a lot. 

"I'm sorry" I repeated. She didn't say a word so I left the room and went to my own before looking in my pocket and pulling out a note

Had a lot of fun, call me +1 718-255-1500

~ Crystal 

-Thank you for reading sorry for any mistakes or typos. Please comment!