Lorraine from Target

Golden Whore

     Lorraine's clouded eyes scanned the shelves of the cosmetics, her piercing orbs dashing back and forth.  Her eyeballs darted back and forth between the different foundations and eyeliners like piranhas. A tube of cinnamon hued lipstick with gold flecks entitled "Golden Whore" stood out to her. She picked it up between her toasted mozzarella stick like pointer finger and thumb, and proceeded to untwist the cap. She raised the pigment to her lips and greedily applied it, some of the lipstick reaching her nose.
    Lorraine looked in the mirror that was stuck to the shelf, smacking her lips a couple of times. Each smack getting louder and louder in volume. Lorraine admired her features in the magic reflection screen, making various facial expressions. She thought her saggy cheeks really complimented her glassy faded eyes. Her hook nose that protruded out like a beak was the second half to her fuzzy chin. Lorraine had her Great Uncle DeMundo to thank for her looks. Out of the corner of her eye, Lorraine saw the last customer go around the rack to the next aisle. This made her the only person in the cosmetics section.
    Making sure no one was watching her, Lorraine pocketed the lipstick tube in her back pocket. This wasn't the first time she had thieved from Target. In total, Lorraine had stolen $467.89 in make-up, smooth jazz records, teen romance novels, and other items. She was pretty proud of herself for snatching so much and not getting caught.
Famished from all the day's excitement, Lorraine decided to take a quick lunch break. Her favorite meal to eat was cold Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup with a side of roasted corn nuts. Lorraine always thought she had a knack for knowing what's good, often referring to herself as a "gourmet". Eager to fill out her muffin too, Lorraine started hobbling to the canned goods aisle.