I Don't Even Know Your Name (Phan)

Chapter Two

2009

Dan

AmazingPhil noticed me?!! This is impossible. It can't be real... Good things never happen to me. No, it must be real, I heard him read out my username.

I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life. Not only did Phil notice me, he agreed to holding a meet up for me.

No, not for me, it's for his fans. Stop being so stupid, Dan. AmazingPhil doesn't care about you, all you are to him is another number on a screen...
But I can dream, right? At least he knows who I am now, he read out my message AND complimented my username. Before you know it we'll be best friends!

Ha! As if.

I need to stop dreaming and get back to reality now. I have to start preparing for uni soon. In a couple of months I'll be leaving to study law at Manchester university. How fun. I wish I didn't have to but I don't have much choice; if I don't go Mum will be disappointed and I've got to get a job eventually so I may as well make it one that makes Mum proud of me. I've forgotten what it's like having a parent that's proud of you. Mum seems to think I'm a failure most of the time nowadays. I guess that's my fault, really; pretty much everything is. Even dad leaving is my fault. Mum will never say it but I know she blames me. I would too, if I was her.

Dad left about a two years ago and has hardly kept in contact since; the most we can expect is a shitty Christmas card every year. Him and mum were always arguing, mostly about me and who was to blame for my depression. So, of course, if I was a normal teenager like my brother, Adrian, then they'd still be together. My dad is a good man though, despite leaving. I would've wanted to get away from myself too if I was him. I'm not annoyed at him anymore. Mum is happier now and I'm as happy as I can be, given the circumstances. God, that makes me sound like I have a really shitty life, when that's not true at all. At least I have a few people that care about me. I should stop being so selfish and bratty and learn to appreciate what I've got.

-

"Dan!" I hear Mum shout from downstairs.

"What?" I grunt in reply. If she's in a good mood she won't complain too much about my lack of manners.

"Have you brought anything for university yet?" Oh God, not this again.

"No." I simply reply, I can almost feel her eyes rolling from my room. I would've already gone shopping by now but I honestly haven't been motivated to do anything this week.

"Well I'm going shopping now, do you want to come with me? We could go to IKEA and get you some stuff for your apartment."

"Sure, give me like five minutes to get ready." I agree to go because, if I don't, it will surely lead to an argument and I don't have the energy to deal with that.

-

"What do you think about this one, Dan?" Mum asks, holding up a navy blue duvet set with vertical grey stripes.

"Looks fine." I reply as she places it in the shopping trolley.
"Can we go home yet?" my younger brother, Adrian, complains.
"Be quiet, Adrian, and stop complaining. Dan needs to get ready to leave for uni and your wailing isn't helping." Mum retorts.

I can already tell she regrets suggesting the shopping trip. It probably wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for the fact that we had to drag Adrian along with us. He's almost ten so, in theory, we probably could've left him at home alone for an hour, but he's far too stupid to survive on his own for even fifteen minutes, let alone a whole hour. Honestly, I wish I was an only child. Things would be so much easier if everyone didn't have to worry about what whiny little Adrian was doing 24/7. I shouldn't say that really... he is my brother.