Random Poetry and Writings

Do I know you? / Grey, Turquoise, black, and red

Do you ever just find out something about someone and realize or feel like you don't really know them at all. And it could be something as simple and monotonous as their favorite movie, but you suddenly star feeling like you don't really know anything about them?

You start asking yourself all these questions and in a panic you forget every answer? And that courses you to panic even more because, hey! guess what you don't know their favorite color so how do you know anything about them? What's their favorite to show? Where do they like to go to relax? What's their favorite food?

And so now you feel even worse. You want to ask but know you can't because then they will know, and when they know all of these things about you but you don't know a damn thing about them, then where is the relationship? Where is that bond?

And so they realize it and they see that there can't be a relationship when you don't know a damn thing about them.

So they leave.

And you're stuck asking yourself the same damn questions over and over until you forget them forever. Because once you started panicking, you never stop. So the answers hide in the fear that turned your blood into ice and they watch as you fall apart.

And then one day as your laying on your bathroom floor in a pool of your own blood and vomit , and you can smell the stale alcohol on our breath from last night and the night before that and the night before that, and you remember that their favorite color is grey and turquoise and black and red and you grasp ahold to that.

You cling to it for dear life because that is the only lifeline you have to them. And you call them, slurring and bleeding and laying in your own filth. And as soon as you hear them pick up you say "Grey, turquoise, black, and red. Those are your favorite colors. I remember them baby, I remember them." And then you hear your heart stop as they speak out in a clear and happy voice: "I'm sorry, do I know you?" And you can hear the giggling in the background and you hear the faint "I love you" come from someone on the other line and for a moment you can ignore it as background noise, but when they say "I love you too" your heart shatters like your phone does when you drop it.

And then someone finds you days later laying cold and lifeless in broken glass and empty bottles, in your own filth and in a pool of your own blood that reads:

"Grey, turquoise, black, and red."