What If..?

Chapter Ten

Chihiro ran for what seemed like forever, up all the flights of stairs to the top floor. Winded, his heart ready to burst from his chest but he just kept running. He wasn't sure if anyone had followed him, but if they did, they would have caught up with him by now. He wasn't the fastest runner. In fact, he hated it, but when his heart was crumbling to pieces, he ignored the burning in his legs and focused on the hole in his heart. Bursting into the greenhouse, he scurried towards the small shack, trapping himself inside.

The second he was behind the closed door, he collapsed to the ground, heaving and sobbing into his palms. His chest ached from lack of breath and his heart thudded heavy against his chest. He thought he was going to die, from embarrassment and anger. How could Mondo just leave him like this? The man had promised this wouldn't happen. Meant to be a happy time for the both of them. And Chihiro had a feeling that had Mondo not disappeared, they would be down in that pool together having the time of their life. And for the first time in years, Chihiro would be swimming comfortable among his peers. His body trembled and when he no longer felt well enough to sit up, he sunk to the floor, pulling his knees up into a fetal position. The day had started out so well. He was sharing kisses in the kitchen with his boyfriend, prepared to have a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. They had even gone back to his room for a quiet celebration with more intimate kisses. And now this. Now here he was, lying on the ground of a dirty shed, crying his heart out to the floor.

And even worse, storming through the academy was a vehement Junko looking for his neck to strangle. Chihiro had never gotten violent in his life. Even when throwing temper tantrums in his room, he only ever expressed his anger by throwing a stuffed animal against the wall. Or beating up his bed. He didn't like violence. He swore he would never hit another person, even if she deserved it. But it was blind rage. Something he had picked up from Mondo. Before he even realized what he was doing, the bright red mark of his fingerprints laid across her face. He just wanted to fall asleep and catch that bus to his father's tomorrow. Even if he didn't have anything pleasant to tell his dad now that his plans had crashed, at least he would be away from the academy. Away from the ridicule of everyone thinking he had lied to Mondo. Away from Junko's evil, cruel words. And away from his boyfriend, who couldn't stand by his side like he promised. Chihiro clutched his hands over his aching stomach, the sobs robbing his body of any last strength he had. He wanted to pass out. Right here. Wake up and run away.

The door to the shed creaked and for a moment, he looked up in terror, afraid that it was perhaps Junko sneaking into that doorway. If she found him, she wouldn't hesitate to kill him. But to his relief, it was Asahina, her face still blushing with alcohol. Sakura, of course, followed close behind her. "Chihiro, honey," Asahina cooed, dropping to her knees the second she was inside the shed. She crawled towards the crushed boy, running her hand along his trembling shoulder. Sakura shut the door behind the both of them, standing guard in case anyone else felt like bursting in. "Everything's going to be alright..." The girl brushed the saw dust that was coating her thigh, allowing the boy to lay his head along her leg. Her body was warm and he appreciated the gesture. He was wrong in assuming everyone would shy away from him once they knew. Some of the girls might take offense knowing they shared a locker room with a boy, but he should have known better of Asahina. She was always sweet. "It's all going to be okay..."

No, it wasn't. He wanted to yell, not at her, but just in general. Scream out in hopes of getting all his frustration out. But anytime he opened his mouth, it was just another eruption of thick wails. It was becoming hard to breath, his chest heaving between every whimper and cry. Even with her fingers so gingerly raking through his hair, he couldn't calm down. How could he let himself get involved in something like this? He loved Mondo so much that his boyfriend leaving after their important announcement tore a void in his heart. This was why being in a relationship terrified him growing up. He was a lot to handle. Not in attitude, but because of all the baggage he carried with him. It wasn't that he was too shy to kiss, or too scared to fall in love. It was that with dating, he had to open a box of secrets he kept closed for so long. To everyone. The only people who knew before Mondo were his parents and the headmaster. Everyone else just went on believing he was a girl because that was how he liked it. He felt safe that way. And the second he lets his guard down to trust someone... it's ripped from him. He wanted to just disappear.