How Ironic (laurmani)

19

Normani's POV:
My eyes fluttered open at the sound of Dinah getting ready for her class. I picked up my phone quickly to check the time and immediately groaned realizing that I had overslept. Dinah was in the middle of fixing her hair when the sound had escaped my mouth and she turned to greet me. "Yeah I thought of waking you but I figured you needed your rest. I heard you all night" she said sadly twisting her face. I looked down at my hands embarrassed that she had heard me crying "Sorry". "No Mani, I'm sorry. I was a dick to do that to you and your relationship. I just let my emotions get the best of me" she walked over to the bed "Is it okay if I sit here?". I nodded and she took a spot next to me. "I never want to see you hurt, that's the last thing I want. So I am truly sorry for telling her. You don't know how badly I wanted to climb into this bed last night and hold you close, not in that way. But as my bestfriend. I'm supposed to be the one helping you get over heartbreak not causing it. Please forgive me".
I looked into her eyes the entire time that she spoke and I knew she meant it. She was heartbroken at this point, for many reasons. "I forgive you" I said giving her a slightly forced smile. "Okay, good and I just want to tell you.. you don't have to worry about me invading anymore. I realize it was highly inappropriate. I can't lose you as my bestfriend so even if that's all I get for now.. It's enough for me." She said grabbing both of my hands. I felt the tears form in my eyes and I tried not to blink because I knew that would cause them to rush out "Dinah I can't just let you sit here and apologize as if I didn't have some play in this. I'm sorry for kissing you & giving you the wrong impression. That was so stupid of me. I know your feelings towards me and I didn't mean to play with your heart. I don't know what took over me that night. You will always be a part my life and until our hearts can no longer beat I will have love for you and just maybe in the future we will be together. You know? When the timings right" As I said that her face formed a smile. I smiled back a pulled her in for a hug. As we hugged she squeezed at the back of my shirt and I felt her pain. I stared blankly at the wall, not knowing what to feel.

//

It was Friday night and four days passed without me even entering our room. Lauren and I haven't saw or let alone talked to eachother since that night.  I missed her all too much but I knew she needed the space so I decided it would be best for me to stay in here with Dinah for a while, until I gathered my thoughts of what to say to her. However I had only grabbed enough clothes that lasted for four days and I needed to go back for more. I used my key to enter and I saw that the room was empty. I sighed of relief, I wanted to see her so badly but I didn't know what to say. I didn't even deserve to explain myself. I rumbled through my drawers and trying to find more clothes along with the other things I needed. I heard giggling and a key enter the door. 'Oh shit'

Lauren's POV (10 minutes ago):
"Maybe I could go back to your dorm?" She smirked. I widened my eyes at her suggestion and she was confused by my reaction. "What's wrong? You think your roommate is there?".
We were currently at a frat party and this was my first time really hanging with anybody at all since that night. The only time I had left my room was for classes. I didn't even leave to eat, which resulted in starving and eating frozen dinners. I was so depressed, so hurt, so defeated. Normani hasn't even tried to contact me, again she left me so easily without a fight. I know I told her to leave, but only because I was angry at her. I don't know how to act when I'm upset, I just boil over. I didn't want her to leave. Last time I made her promise me not to leave even if I told her to. But she did. I missed her terribly. I needed to get her off of my mind and that's why I'm here. I had a few drinks leaving my slightly buzzed but nothing to serious because everytime I thought of drinking more or refilling my cup I thought of Normani warning me to slow down. I wasn't enjoying myself.
I snapped out of my mental rant to respond to her question "Uh, no Lucy she isn't in there". "Well let's go" she said excitedly and I agreed. I don't know why I agreed. I was just flirting with her innocently to get Normani off of my mind. But now, this next step is not something I think I want. No matter how bad Normani kissing Dinah hurt me I didn't want anyone else. Lucy was a cool girl, I met her in one of my classes and we really kicked off. However I wouldn't choose a hundred naked horny Lucy's over a single Normani, even after what she did.
We arrived at the door and she stumbled causing us both to giggle. I grabbed a hold of her hand to hold her in place. She was clearly more intoxicated than me. I didn't know what was going to go down between us after we entered and quite frankly I was nervous. I stuck the key in with my free hand and twisted the door open. My jaw dropped when I saw Normani, she was kneeled over digging for something. "I- oh.. I didn't expect for you to be in here" I said nervously. Her eyes moved from mine and connected to me and Lucy's interlocked hands. "Lauren.. What is this?" She said far more calmly than I expected. Maybe she felt she had no reason to be mad at me because she did things too. I didn't respond, I didn't know what this was. Maybe I would've had sex with her if Normani wasn't in here. Or maybe I would've guilted out and sent her home, leaving me crying wanting Normani to come to me. "Ew Baby, you said your roommate wouldn't be here" Lucy's warm breath was full of alcohol as she tugged at my shoulder. Normani gave me a death glare. "Why are you calling me that?" I said to Lucy finally disconnecting our hands "You know what? It's not a good time I think you should go". She pouted, but I rushed her out of the room and back to the elevator before she could cause anymore damage. I know this wasn't the right thing to do because she would be drunk and alone at night walking around campus, but honestly she was the least of my concerns right now.
After the elevator shut I ran back towards the room to meet Normani. She held the bag in her hand and was shutting the door, exiting. "You're leaving ..again?" My voice cracked as I questioned heart broken. She turned around to meet my face and tears were flowing down her cheeks "That's what you want right?" She asked sniffling. "No!" I grabbed her bag from her and opened the door, motioning my arm for her to go inside "Come, please".
Once we entered the room we sat down on the bed. We looked in eachothers eyes for a few seconds not talking. She finally opened her mouth to speak "Are.. you fucking her?" She questioned with pain in her eyes. "No" I responded looking down and shaking my head. "Where you going to..tonight?" She asked and I looked back up at her with shame in my eyes and she knew what that meant. She blinked hard and tears flowed out. "I deserve it.. I'm sorry, I don't deserve you Lauren" she cried out "I know rebuilding trust takes time and I'll be patient. How ever long you need. I just want to come back". I couldn't stand seeing her crying "Stop crying mani" I said and brought my thumb up to wipe a tear "I know people make mistakes. But you have to let me know that it was just a mistake! That it meant nothing more to you. That's the only way this can be made right." I was now crying as well. She grabbed my hands "I don't want to lie to you Lauren... I kissed her for a reason. A reason that I'm not sure of. I don't know if it was love, lust, or if I just felt bad seeing her like that. But I want you to know I love Dinah, however I am not in love with her the way in am with you." She spoke gripping my hands tighter. "Let's look past all of this. Let me be the only one you love Normani because you will forever be the only one I love. I want to grow old with you. I'm sick of tears and us being upset with one another. I missed you" I said staring in to her eyes. "I missed you too baby & yes! Yes to all of that, I love youuuuu" before I could respond she grabbed my face and pulled me in to her lips. I missed the feeling of her soft lips against mine. She moaned "mmm" through her lips and I felt the vibration on to mine. "God I missed this so much" I hissed out between kisses "I love you Normani".

A/N:
Ship sailing🚢