Teeth [Harry Styles Fanfiction]

Chapter Thirty Three

Jaycee’s Point of View:

Was I that stupid? Was I that naïve? I couldn’t stop the thoughts or the tears from 2streaming down my face as I ran home. I felt a pit in my stomach and it hurt so much that I was sure I was going to puke. How could he do this to me? How could he…

Every bit of me wanted to scream and violently lash out. I didn’t even care that dozens of people were staring at me as I ran. They didn’t know feel kind of heart break that I was experiencing. It was uncontrollable and certainly unavoidable.  Rushing across the busy street, I didn’t even care if it was a green light. Cars beeped all around me, screaming out nasty curses from their windows. I shuttered all of the voices I heard around me and couldn’t help but to focus on a certain one; Harry’s. Flashbacks began to play in head, those from today in the morning and those from only seconds ago. I was hurt but mostly confused. What did I do to make him hurt me like that? It had to be my fault that he didn’t love me anymore. I mean, he couldn’t have loved me if he did things with another girl, right?

            I continued to run and the more I thought about Harry not loving me anymore, the more my throat and chest tightened up; I couldn’t breathe! I gasped for air; air that would not enter. Was I dying? Stopping in my tracks, I could feel my heart beating pugnaciously. If I were to die, this would have been a perfect time. My hazel, messy, eyes shuttered harshly and I could feel the remains of hot tears tickle my cheekbones. I never knew this would be so painful – this is what my mom feels.

            Sniffling, I dropped my body weight against a building in an alley. I was soaked and messy but I didn’t care anymore – nothing mattered at this point. I looked all around me, seeing nothing but the garbage dump across from me and the drops of rain sliding down the poles by the side of the building. Even in the broad daylight, I didn’t feel safe in here but I guess I didn’t care. My head was swelled with all of these thoughts and feelings – all I wanted to do was forget. I wasn’t crying anymore though; I was shaking. My body was vigorously vibrating against the wall and I was whimpering for a moment. What have I done?

            Surely, I’ve done something to set him off, right? Harry wouldn’t just use me like that… right? Or what if he did? What if he has been using me from the moment he’s met me? Am I really that stupid? Am I really that naïve like April said?

            I was going crazy – too many horrific ideas in my head. I tried letting go, giving him everything I could and I just didn’t know why this happened to me. Annie once said to ‘take a risk’, well, I did and look where it got me. With a slight exhausted sigh, I bowed my head and now I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes again. My emotions were pulled by the thought of him and my parents. My mom loved my father to the ends of the earth but apparently not enough. It was obvious he no longer loved her if he cheated on her (and continues to) so many times. I never thought I’d ever be in that situation and I didn’t know why I was so stupid to think that. I was bound to get hurt by someone, I just never imagined it would be so excruciating like this.

            Sitting down in that dark alley alone seemed to last forever, even though it was maybe just an hour. An hour seemed like an eternity when your heart ached the way mine did. I couldn’t stay here though – someone was bound to find me. Dragging myself off of the dirty ground, I shuttered a moment and a cold breeze hit the back of my spine. A gasp escaped from my lips and I looked cautiously around me. It didn’t even occur to me that people were casually walking around, walking past the alleyway. Who knows how many people saw me crying. Who cares? My body felt weak walking down the avenue and towards my house. I could feel eyes being glued to me and as I walked random pedestrians, I could hear them whisper things like “Whoa,” People were pitying me now, but it didn’t faze me one bit.