After You

Three

So I was drifting. Lost. I didn't know what to do without Hanson. He'd apologized, sure, but what he'd said had struck a chord- he wanted me to stop following him, to "be my own person".

The problem was, I didn't know how to do that.

I tried branching out. I made friends, but I was never exactly confident. I always assumed confidence was reserved for people it looked good on- people like Hanson.

But this story isn't about me. And Hanson's strange state wasn't exactly improving. I watched him slowly cut off his friends, lose interest in his activities, and grow increasingly restless. And he never seemed to want to talk to me much.

I kept waiting for him to snap out of it. And at some point I guess I just got sick of waiting.

I knocked on his door one day after school. His mother answered, looking distressed.

"Hi, Mrs. Gaines. Is Hanson home?"

"No, dear. In fact, he hasn't been since last night. I have no idea where he's gone. He's done this a few times in the past month or so."

"Oh." This was cause for concern. "I'll... see if I can get him to answer his phone."

I walked back down their driveway and leaned against the oak tree while dialing his number.

He answered gruffly. "What, Liv?"

"Stop, Hanson. What the hell is going on? You're being really shady. Your mother is worried. I'm worried!" My voice was approaching an alarming volume. I paused to take a deep breath. He said nothing, so I continued, "Tell me what's going on."

He sighed, and it made a crackly sound over the phone. "Where are you?"

"Where do you think I am?"

"Alright, alright. I'll be there in ten minutes."

•••
He had dark circles under his eyes, and he'd grown so thin that his jeans hung off his hips.

"Hi," he said.

"Don't 'hi' me. You once told my mom you were gonna marry me and we'd raise our children on a farm in Montana."

"Hello, Olivia, my longtime friend and neighbor."

"Good. Now tell me what's going on."

He looked away. "You know the alley at the corner of the street with the cafe on it?"

"Um, yeah."

"We should go there."

"Why?"

He looked me in the eyes. "Do you want to know what's going on or not?"

I did want to know. "Ok. I'll do it if you will," I said, trying to sound cheerful. "Like old times, yeah?"

He stared at his feet. "Maybe that's not such a good idea."

"What?"

"You always following me, I mean. I can be real dumb sometimes."

"Well, yeah, but me too. We're dumb in different ways."

My cheerfulness wasn't catching- he still seemed upset. "I did somethin' bad, Liv."

"Uh-huh. You gonna tell me what it was?"

"Actually, I did a whole lot of bad somethings."

"Like what?"

He kept staring at the ground.
"Like what, Hanson?" I repeated. "You gonna tell me?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna show you."