"Life as we may not have bargained for"

Chapter 5: Why'd you bring a shotgun to the party?

Part one: "There's too much green to feel blue"

•Pete•

Thursday.

Two more days before the said party. Fuck, I can't wait.

You know the thing about doing something that's considered as a 'misbehavior' or 'immature' to certain people? The adrenaline it produces; the plans you have in your head that widens out  the fantasies of it and fuels your excitement? This is what makes me forget, that for once, being me isn't being useless or feeling like a waste in space. It takes away the hole inside me, patches up the missing part of me. Okay, selfish a bit I know but "Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind", a wise friend once mentioned in a song.
Maybe I could man up one day. Have my hair fixed in a clean cut, pick up that razor, spray on that aftershave, ride a limo after putting on a suit and tie then run a goddamned company. I can. But first things first, I need to brace myself for the responsibility. People might think that being me, is like being a child; acting out. But there's more to that.

"Wentz, if you're trying to burn the facility down with that stare of yours at least warn us. I still want to have kids someday, you know" Brendon with a slight knock on my armchair, spoke out and they all began to fill with laughter.

"Sorry Urie, but I don't plan my murders in an audible manner" I replied with a hint of sarcasm, adding a chuckle.

"Haha, good one! You're up for physic  later" He chuckled, patting my shoulder. 'Physic cathartic you mean' my brain added. How does he freaking know I'm going anxious about something again?! Oh, right......psychiatrist.

A few moments later, Brendon left the room with Evan entering it. I wonder what we're gonna do for arts today. We all rearranged the chairs to the corners of the room and assembled the foldable tables in the middle.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Gen asked. She seems calm today. Well, we haven't actually spoken since she's been here, just occasional glances and greetings. She did tell me something important once. More like, told me a story. We already told Gen about the plan but thing is, she doesn't want to come with us but will help us by getting Tom to help us.

"And a dollar for your insight?" Blythe elbowed me lightly, a smile spreads across her face.

"Or a fortune for your disaster?" Patrick added and quickly jolted down something in his notepad.

"Those could be song lyrics" I tell them. Patrick nodded in agreement but before he can say anything Hannah and Taylor caught his attention. Gen looked at me as if she's telling me to talk to her later and I gave her a smile agreeing. She went on to get her sketch pad and sat on her usual chair. Evan wrote on the chalkboard telling us what our topic is and what supplies we will need for the day.

The topic assigned is "Reflection".

Guess we're going painting today. The others started with their sketches first, some drafts, some doodles. I reached out for my sketch pad  laid out on the floor while I start to think of what to put in mine. Realizing that I don't have a pencil for starters, I stand up and go to the walk-in supply closet just at the back of the room. Blythe, is on the ladder trying to reach for something, with her butt slightly bended. My thoughts are running wild on this.

"Oh, do you need something?" She turned her head and smile upon seeing me. I gulped and shake off the dirty thoughts trying to corrupt me.

"No!--oh uh, pencils a-and paint...yeah" I rolled my eyes at myself stuttering like the idiot I already am. My mind's exaggerating this. She handed me four charcoal pencils with different shades and I accepted it.
She went back to reach out for the box of paints again, struggling, I offered to help and she climbed down the ladder and I got it.