{ #1 } I Was Shooting For The Moon, I Hit Two Stars (MxMxM || 18+)

Chapter 46 - For Lack Of Anything Better...

(Shan's POV - Tue. 9 December 2014)

Despite the comforter pulled up to my chin, a chill courses through my body when I wake up, as if a source of warmth was missing. Alex's warmth to be more precise. Keeping my eyes close, I extend my arms in front of me, thinking he might be on the other side of the bed, but I quickly realize that his space is empty and cold. I guess he must have been up for a while.

However, a peek at the alarm clock indicates me that it's barely 9am and as I sit up, I catch sight of an unusual form in my peripheral vision. Alex is sleeping in the armchair by the window. What the heck is he doing there? The position can't even be comfortable, curled up as he is! I get up and reach him, smiling at his cuteness, with his lips forming an adorable pout and his left hand snuck inside his pants.

Hand inside his pants!? What has this little minx done?

No, he wouldn't have dared to jack off on his own, but to clear any doubts, I cautiously tug on the waistband of his sweatpants and see that his hand is just resting on his pubis. His cock is standing at full attention, though... I don't know what he's dreaming about, but I bet it must be pleasant when I see this morning wood!

"What the hell, Shan!!" Alex suddenly screams, causing me to literally jump back and let go of the elastic waistband that slaps against his lower abdomen. "You're such a perv!"

The anger in his voice startles me even more. My cutie seems to be in a bad mood and I'm not used to this. It's not in his habits to snap as he's been doing since Mark left.

"I wasn't being a perv, Pumpkin... I'm sorry..." I apologize. "I was just surprised to not find you in bed this morning..."

"That's such a lame excuse for looking into my pants while I'm asleep!" he replies bitterly, averting his sleepy eyes to the window.

He's definitely in a bad mood, so I ease my way to straddle his lap despite his grunts and his eyes throwing daggers at me.

"I'm sorry... I was just wondering if you had... you know..." I stutter, perplexed by the darkness in his eyes.

"Masturbated? Is that what you mean? You were wondering if I had jacked off? What if I had? Would you rat on me to Mark?" he seethes sourly.

Uhoh... There's something off here...

"In theory, I would have to tell him, but I wouldn't..." I reply in a soft voice, hoping it's going to soothe him, but he only snorts back at me. "Did you?"

"It's none of your business..." he mumbles, trying to get up but my weight won't let him.

Now that I pay a little more attention, I realize that dark circles are marking his skin beneath his bloodshot eyes and he looks tired. Alex has been acting quite weird over the past two days, talking much less than usual, and I think that Mark's absence is wearing its toll on him. More than I thought. I know he was pretending to sleep last night when I joined him in bed, but I didn't want to push him, thinking he mostly needed rest. To be honest, I was exhausted too and fell asleep almost right away. Now I wonder how much sleep he got last night, but I bet it wasn't much.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" I ask very gently, but Alex just shakes his head in answer. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Pumpkin, I didn't mean any wrong..."

Something seems to click in his head at the sound of my grief-stricken voice and his features immediately soften.

"No, I am sorry, Shan! I shouldn't have talked to you like this..." he apologizes, his eyes filled with guilt and tears he's holding back.

I don't know what is going on with him exactly, but I'm sure it has to do with Mark being away and my guess is that he's yearning for affection, so I grab his frail body and hug him for a long moment.