Let Love Last - Phan

Can You Feel My Heart Racing?

Hi guys, so here is the first of probably three parts. I love you all, so thank you if youa re reading. I hope this doesn't let you down:) 

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He picked up the camera, turning it on. How it looked right now was something he wasn't that fussed about. It didn't have to look like his regular videos – they were all perfectly framed and still – he wanted this to just be between himself and the camera. Shaky, unbalanced, at a horrible angle and showing off his every flaw, right now he couldn't have cared less because this wasn't about the video. It wasn't really anything to do with the camera either, instead, it was solely between him and the one person this was meant for. He wouldn't show them yet; something else had to be done first, but in the end they would see it. See what a nervous wreck he was right now. His palms grew sweaty as he stared up into the glass screen,

“Hey, so, it's the 19th of July and today is the day I ask you to marry me. You don't know this yet because I have told you that I am having a few friends over to plan something for your birthday but in reality I just need you out of the house to set this up. I love you so much and, quite frankly, I am so scared you won't say yes. So, please do. I hope you do, anyway. I have to go now. See you later, goodbye, love” he signed off, turning off the camera with one thought circulating his mind: Please say yes.

A lump lodged firmly in his throat as he set the camera down on top of the cupboard in the room they have shared over the past few years despite telling the world they had their own rooms. Everything in his room was neat and tidy, partly because of the routine he now automatically fulfils first thing in the morning, and partly due to his OCD. Dan could feel his fringe of brown, straightened hair fall across his forehead, distracting him enough to curse quietly to himself. Despite feeling slightly worried that the whole proposal set up was centred around what Dan liked more than what Phil preferred he carried on collecting everything he will need to set up. It was a well known fact between the two of them Dan was the more romantic one, and even though Phil looked like the cute and innocent one, he wasn't quite as much of a romantic softy. Sure, he felt that cuddles were one of the sweetest and affectionate gestures you can have in a relationship, he just wasn't into the whole 'playing soft jazz with a romantic meal' and all that malarkey. He would much rather just cuddle up on the sofa, with Dan, watching a film as the spoke softly to one another. But, today, it was about the two of them, even if it had to please Phil slightly more, it had to be perfect for the both of them, and Dan was sure he would be grateful for it.

Cardboard, pens, pencils, coloured paper, roses, boxes and paints, all held precariously within his arms, Dan walked back to the living room and laid them out along the coffee table. Now, where to start? A part of him just wanted to do everything all at once, but he knew he would have to approach this systematically else he would run out of time before Phil returned. It only took a minute to calm his thoughts and he pushed everything except from the boxes and paint to the side. For a moment the thought of recording the process flashed though his mind, but after realising how much editing it would take, it was much easier to just skip it and explain it all later. His stomach tied itself into a knot, flipping about with intense butterflies that were trying to force their way through his skin and into the world beyond. How could he ever do this? Once again he wanted to chicken out. Put everything away and maybe face it some other day, but his mind thought over it. Yes, it was going to be embarrassing and nerve raking, but that's what it is like for everyone! It isn't going to be any other way. So, shaking the thoughts from his head, Dan embraced the jittery feeling in his stomach because he knew it wouldn't leave, and he picked up the paint, pouring a bit of each onto a piece of cardboard. He wanted this to be perfect for Phil. Every last detail. He would go to the end of the earth for him, so why should he not do the same now? Why should he not put all of his love into such a massive gesture?