A Bit of Fun

Part 16

(A/N) It's a couple days after the last chapter, so the grieving isn't so extreme.  The way that Devon, Jamie, and Jun are, they don't grieve normally.  They all just try to distract themselves, ignore it, avoid it, and they just randomly go back to normal.  In a couple chapters you might see why they're so skilled in grievance, it doesn't have much to do with the storyline, it just shows you more of the characters.  Anyways, Happy Reading!

Jun's POV

I don't feel right doing this.  I'm lying to Suzuka so she won't have to deal with me.  I don't want her to have to comfort me, it won't change much. 

Though it might make me feel better,

he's still dead.

Me and Suzuka were in the same room, and we hadn't said much in the past half hour or so.

We were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, and she barely looked at me.  She was just on her phone, and she had a sad resting face.  All I really did was stare at her.

She turned to me, and said, "Jun.  Tell me what's wrong already."  She started tearing up at the end of the sentence, and I froze.

"Jun!  What, do you not trust me?  Have you even told anybody?  Jun, your eyes have been the brightest blue for a week.  And nothing that anybody has done has changed that so far."

I practically choked just trying to breathe.

My chest shook, I didn't want her to cry.

I didn't want to be the cause of her sadness.

"That's exactly what I was avoiding," I said, regarding her crying.

"What?  What were you trying to avoid Jun?" 

Suzuka's POV

"What?  What were you trying to avoid Jun?"  I uttered, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and sadness.

He didn't speak, he just reached his hand up to my cheek and wiped my tears.

"I didn't want you to feel like this."  He spoke, also in tears.

"Well then tell me whats wrong!"  I said, with more tears falling from my face.

Jun stood up, and ran his hands through his hair, the way that he does when he's stressed.

"Did I do something wrong?"  I ask.

He turned to me, "Why would you ever think that, Suzuka?"

I haven't heard him call me by my full name since the day something happened to him.

I stood up from the couch and got closer to him.

"Because you treat me like I did!"  I bellowed, still crying.

He looked at me, angry.  I don't think that he was angry at me, that's not like him, but his expression still scared me.

"I didn't want to burden you with my shitty problems," He yelled. "I was trying to avoid all of this- how did it still happen?"  

We both began to raise our voices, and I broke.

"Just tell me what the fu-"  I practically crumbled, and I leaned against his chest, sobbing.

"My dad."  He said, I could feel a couple of his tears fall on top of my head, and he continued. "My dad died."

He was shaking, and I whisper yelled, as that was all I could do.

"Why would you hide this from me?!  For so long?!"

"Suzuka I don't want you to have to deal with my problems.  I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are!  You act like you're such a burden!  You're really not!"

" I really am!  Why do you think that Jamie and Devon left me, my friends, everyone?!"

We started to raise our voices again, yelling back and forth.  Him, yelling about how much he hated his own guts, and me about how I didn't.

"I'm worthless, Suzuka!  You could've avoided all of this shit if you just left me, everybody else does!"

"You're not worthless!"

"Why the hell do you put up with me?!"

"Jun!"  I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"I 'put up with you' because I fu-"  I could only say one thing.

"I love you, Jun."