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They used to tell me that you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it. I never thought it was truly useful to anyone. I mean, people don’t want to be reminded of what they lost because of their mistakes, and bad decisions, they don’t want a random person to remind them that they never truly appreciated that person. They know now.

Soon I discovered that that phrase was not a reminder, not really. It’s a feeling…how to explain it? It’s a feeling of everything it could have been, but never was. It’s that ghost that hunts you at night and makes you feel desolated. It’s that nightmare that wakes you up screaming and crying, but there’s no one to hear, no one to understand.

At least it’s like that for me, it has always been. Maybe I’m wrong, and it is what it is; a phrase. But sometimes, in solitude, you find yourself thinking.

Thinking and walking alone, to conclusions that maybe aren't understable for anyone, bless their happy souls, but, I know there are people who understand. Many walk alone, and many, like me, find themselves thinking.

I think I’m just going all over the page now, better stop.

So reader, if you find yourself drawn to this story, I encourage you to keep reading. If you find yourself curious, I encourage you to keep reading. If you find yourself, just find yourself, I encourage you to keep reading. Of course you don’t have to do it, you can always forget about me, and fade into the shadows of my failure. What it could have been, and never was…

This is my story.