Stalker

Chapter Two

“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?”  

~

Rain knocking on my windows, grey clouds taking all over the sky, the sun out of view and here I am cuddled in my bed hugging the sheets close to my body and my teeth clattering. Typical British weather for you. Images of yesterday playing in my mind and a wide smile spreading across my face. As much as Harry seemed closed off about his life and he didn’t talk much, he just looks at you with that intense stare, I still enjoyed my time with him. His presence was enough.

I got up from my bed instantly regretting it as my feet made contact with the cold tiles, a shiver running down my spine. I made my way to the bathroom and took a long shower warming myself up. Getting out of the shower I changed into a sweater and some jeans not bothering with make-up. I left my hair to dry by itself and went downstairs to the kitchen where mum was making tea.  I mumbled a quiet ‘good morning’ and took a seat.

“You look tired Paz.” Mum stated stirring the mug.

“I am actually. Hearing thunder all night isn’t exactly my cup of tea.”

“Always scared of thunders Paz, always.” She chuckled handing me my cup.

I shrugged and continued sipping my tea, my mind drifting to Harry every now and then. I wonder if he likes thunders or if he’s afraid of them just as much as I am. I wonder whether he slept properly last night or he stayed wide awake just like I did. All I seemed to do when I thought of Harry was wonder how he is, how acts, what he likes, what’s his life like, why’s he so private of himself but of course I wouldn’t dare to ask him any of that.

I’ve always been shy when it comes to meeting new people, but I can get pretty loud once I get to know them. But that’s the thing. Do I want to get to know Harry? Or would I just continue watching him from my window? I was having an inner battle with myself when I heard the doorbell ring.  Placing the mug on the counter I stood up to open the door but mum had already beat me to that.

“Oh hey Steve!” I heard her say.

Steve? Faint chit chat was heard from the living room. It was like hearing two mice communicating. I stood up and put my mug in the sink. I made my way to the living room to see my mum grinning and this ‘Steve’ dude talking. I cleared my throat to get their attention. Their heads snapped in my direction and my mum’s smile was no longer as big as it was. Oh well.

“Steve, this is my daughter, Paz. Paz, this is my co-worker, Steve.” She introduced smiling.

“Oh so you’re the famous Paz then. Nice to meet you.” He stood up and made his way over me. Offering his hand to shake in which I returned the gesture.

“I guess that’s me.” I nodded not feeling any interested in who he is as much as I wanted to know what the hell he was actually doing here at eight in the morning. My mum frowned and shook her head at my tone but honestly I couldn’t care less. I excused myself and went back to my room blasting Air Supply’s Making Love Out Of Nothing through my speakers. Yes, I like oldies. Judge me.

I sat on the window frame with my back glued to the wall and my feet hugged tight to my chest. I sighed loudly clearly exaggerating but oh well. Looking out the window to find the snow piling up in front of the house. I remember when dad used to build snowmen with Edmund and I and then he would get snow balls and we’d throw them all over the snowman until it finally breaks down. And whoever got to aim a snowball correctly to the snowman’s nose which consisted of a stolen carrot from mum’s groceries, would earn ten pounds.

I smiled weakly at the memory tears already threatening to spill but honestly I didn’t give a damn. Missing someone isn’t wrong and remembering the memories of something that once made you happy isn’t either. I’d give anything to re-live those days.  As long as I got to re-experience the happiness that once filled me entirely. Now it just feels empty and I strongly believe nothing in this entire world would ever make me happy and full again. There will always be that little piece of me who will always be devastated because they’re gone and they’re never coming back. I wiped away the tears with the back of my sleeve and focused my attention at the now open door of Harry’s house.