Sink or Swim✓ (Teen Romance)

Chapter Twenty-Six

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            Sarah stares at me for a long moment, but she remains silent.  Her face is unreadable, making it impossible to know if she understood my choked explanation.  I wipe at my eyes before curling beneath the covers again.  My head is pounding with fury and guilt, two things that are terrible to feel simultaneously. 

            "He said he loved her?" Sarah asks. 

            I nod, annoyed that that's the part of my story she picked out.  I try to swallow down the buildup of tears.

            "That seems really fast."

            "He didn't mean it," I remind her, a little too quickly.  Then, a gurgled cry rises from my throat.  "But I don't know if he meant it to me either."

            Sarah doesn't respond.  Instead, she rotates herself across my bed and lies motionless beside me.  She doesn't touch me or try to console me, though I'm not sure what she could possibly say.  I am beginning to realize that she's the only real friend I have.  Keely and I haven't talked in ages, and Cassi obviously stopped being my friend the moment I stole Elliot from her.  I cringe at the last part of my thoughts, but it's still the truth.

            "Finn?" says Sarah after a prolonged moment.

            I don't answer.

            "Finn, maybe this isn't as bad as you think," whispers Sarah.  "Maybe it just feels bad."

            "It is as bad as I think!" I cry, flipping over to face her.  My eyes are still blurred with tears, but I ignore them.  "Cassi just wanted someone to love her, and she found someone.  And I took him away."

            "He didn't love her though," says Sarah, as though this should lessen my guilt.

            "That only makes it worse."  I sigh and rest on my back.  "She loved him."

            "And he loves you, right?" asks Sarah.  "He loves you right now.  Isn't that all that matters?"

            I wish it was.  I wish I could forget everything that happened between him and Cassi and only focus on the present.  I love him and he loves me.  Things should be simple.  But, they aren't.  Cassi has been my sister ever since I was born; and even though she can be a royal bitch sometimes, she's still my sister.  Shouldn't she come before some boy I met a month ago?

            Except Elliot is more than some boy.  He was the boy that changed everything, that made me feel like boys were more than insensitive jerks.  But now, I don't know what to think.  He made Cassi believe boys were different too, and look how that turned out for her.  Elliot could easily be playing me, just like he played her.  Cassi has far more to offer than I do.  The only difference is that I kissed him the second he asked, and Cassi refused.  Maybe he's just another horny prick, looking for the easiest girl to hook up with.

            "Hello, Finn?" asks Sarah, her hand suddenly flashing in front of my eyes.

            I roll my head to the side to look at her, but say nothing.

            "Finn, Elliot loves you," she says.  "I can tell by the way he looks at you.  Hell, I think everyone can.  He loves you.  Who cares if he lied to Cassi?"