Sink or Swim✓ (Teen Romance)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Dedicated to: lovelylittleauthor for your great comments.  Thanks:) 

Fair warning, this is unedited.  I'm sorry if there are errors!

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            I stand at the foot of Elliot's driveway, just as I had before Cassi's door.  The path to his front porch has never seemed longer; and for some reason, I can't compel one foot to move in front of the other.  His car is here and his mother's isn't, which means I truly have no reason to be hesitating.  I should already be in his house, trying to sort through this new mess.  But, I'm afraid.  

            Afraid that he'll be mad, afraid that I'll say the wrong things, afraid that we won't be able to figure anything out.  I shift my weight onto one foot, trying to come up with every possible outcome.  What if we get into another fight?  What if I lose my temper again?  What if we realize that breaking up is our best option?  The simple thought of being without him makes my stomach hurt, as cheesy as that sounds.  We haven't been dating for long, but something about Elliot makes me happier than I managed to be on my own. 

            Then again, that happiness pretty much vanished when the drama with Cassi got out of hand.  Even now, standing in the brutal fall breeze, I don't know what I want.  Obviously, I should have figured it out before I decided to show up at his house.  It's just, I don't think I'll ever know what I want.  Nothing feels simple anymore.  I hate that Elliot hurt Cassi and then lied to me about it; but I really hate that Cassi assumes this gives her permission to intentionally hurt me.  Thinking about Cassi makes me flinch.  I can't believe I practically disowned her today.  It's ridiculous and probably made a bigger mess of things than necessary, but I couldn't help myself.  I'm just so done with being her doormat.

            "Finn?"

            My neck snaps up to see Elliot standing on his front porch.  His swim bag is slung over his shoulder, even though we don't have practice today.  I feel my face heat up as he stares at me.  I shouldn't have come.  I'm not ready for this; I have no idea what to say to him.  His electric blue eyes are wide with shock, though I can't quite decide whether it's the good or bad kind. 

            I open my mouth to say something—anything—that would make my leering less creepy.  But to be honest, my brain doesn't seem to be functioning properly at the moment.  I'll blame it on the recent blow of drama in my life, but maybe I'm just bad at communicating.  Long story short, I stare at him for a few moments before wheeling around and hauling it back down the road.

            He calls after me, but I keep jogging.  Being the stupid person that I am, I didn't take my car.  It isn't broken or anything, not even being borrowed.  I walked outside with my keys in hand, ready to drive to Elliot's.  But I knew that driving would only take five minutes, and I needed more preparation time than that.  So instead, I started walking with the dim hope that Elliot and I would repair our relationship and he would simply drive me home.

            Obviously, I should've known better.  I can't work things out with Elliot, but I also can't outrun him—especially if he decides to jump in that stupid expensive car of his.  I keep running for a few more minutes anyway.  Elliot calls my name again, closer this time.  Finally, I give up and fall to a stand-still.  My heart is pounding in my chest, but I'll blame my random sprint for that. 

            "Finn, what're you doing?" asks Elliot, panting slightly as he catches up to me.  He's wearing a dark blue shirt and a pair of cacky shorts, looking more attractive than I would prefer at this moment.  My eyes rake over his lean build before I scold myself and return my attention to his face.