Dear R,

Goodbye R: Forever

Dear R,

You're like the summer  time. You're fond of giving me excitement, imagining occurences right before you actually came. You make me plan things to do in a very advanced moment.You have it with you, the force of making me stoked for your arrival. Just like the summer time, you let me go to different places, your warmth pursues me to explore places I've always dreamed of going to.

You R, gave me the freedom to enjoy things. You even gave me happiness that I can only feel when you're here. You have those unexplainable yet amazing things to offer. And I think even if it's just for a very little amount of time, having you is my favorite time of the year.

But just like the summer time, you come and go, too fast, that in just a blink of an eye all the happiness are gone. I knew it, that the day will come and you'll have to go. I don't know why I kept on letting you in my life despite of the expected goodbyes.

Right now you're here and tomorrow, I know, you'll be gone. You never stayed for good. You just come and go.One day I wake up realizing that it's all over - forcing me to go back to my reality. The reality that's not fond of having you in it.

R, I can not live that way, I can't keep myself waiting for the time you feel like making me happy and be invisible in you when you don't. I can't be your special girl at a moment and then be a stranger in the next.

Honestly, it's tiring. Yes,I am tired. Tired of believing that someday you'd stay and someday everything will change.

With you, I realized that summer days doesn't  give you happiness alone, but exhaustion too. Too much heat can drain your insides and can eventually make you feel empty. I don't want to feel empty, R. So I'm not letting myself feel your warmth anymore. Even if it takes everything in me to let you go.

Or... Maybe, not really 'everything' in me... Just a 'part' of me that you lead on somewhere. Somewhere that I im positive it's going nowhere.

I deserve someone better. Someone who'll be there for me all year long -  forever. Maybe I'll meet him today, or maybe tomorrow or in the next day. I don't know. All I know now is I am willing to wait, this time, not for you but for the right one for me.

I need to move on to the next season of my life. So this is seriously the goodbye. Don't dare barging into my life again. Let me have what I deserve.

Yes, you have never been replaced here in my heart, but i guess, not in a good way. I realized that no matter how hard you tried to make things right you're still the destroyer of it. And the scar you brought, that's the thing that no one can ever replace. This is the last time I am going to write to you. And since this is the last time, you need to know that I saw you with another girl the other day. JUST LIKE THE SUMMER TIME, you literally make gazillions of people happy, in your case 'girls'. You make girls fall into your feet easily. You take their kind hearts foregranted. I don't think you'll go far with that little evil game of yours. Oh well, it's not like I still care. Goodbye R. Forever.

Happily,

free