The lonely girl

Chapter 1

"Renee! Get your fucking ass in the fucking bathroom now and throw up that food you fatass! How can you even look at yourself in the mirror!?! So disgusting!" My thoughts haunting me. I can't help but do what the voices in my head say. There right, I am fat, ugly, stupid, and most of all worthless and not loved. So eventually I get up and do what my thoughts say.

I get on my knees and throwing up the little food I had ate. I knew I didn't need it but I couldn't help it! I haven't ate in a week! What am I suppose to do!?! And my thoughts take over again..

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself you worthless bitch!"

Your right I'm sorry.... I won't do it again

I just wish that I can find someone that doesn't think I'm as worthless as I think I am...but that would never happen I'm just a "normal" teenage girl

"That's fat and has a lot of problems.."

True but I'm just a girl that one one likes. I get mad fun of me, for the way I'm so pale, so called 'skinny' even thought I'm fat, and being emo.

My thoughts get interrupted by my phone ringing... Its my bully Calum Hood. I pick my phone up and hit the answer button cautiously.

"Hey bitch! Watcha doin? Ha! I bet your cutting yourself again you attention seeking whore" then he hangs up.

Wow, okay well maybe I should it's the only thing that gives me hope nowadays...

I head to my bathroom and looking for my only and actual friend my blade. I close and lock the door before picking my blade up and pressing it to my wrist trying to relax.

I made 10 little red lines that gave me hope..

One fore being so stupid..

One for being fat..

One for believing them..

One for making my parents hate me..

One for Calum..

One for answering..

And one for all 5 again..

I know I shouldn't do this, I know I shouldn't cut or be anorexic or "emo" but I can't fucking help it! When I'm being told all the mother fucking time that I'm stupid, fat, ugly, emo and everything else in the world!

Ugh I'm so fucking done!

I put my blade away before I get too mad and I hit the wall..

My mum run through knocking on the door slightly and faking her 'concern.'

I pull down my sleeve and unlocking the door walking up to her and giving her a fake smile tell her I just fell...

Once again she believed me...

Once again another lie..

Another fake smile..

And more cuts later on..

If only she knew, if only..

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Renee at the top or bottom. Not a really good pic but eh. Well I hope you all like it so far!