You were cold but no matter what, I do love you just so you know.
Everything's so hard to me. It is so hard to pretend that I'm fine but no I'm not.
We've been going like this since the start of our relationship. I know you love me, even though you don't say it but I feel it.
Mostly, you're words are so stubborn but actually you cared for me. Instead of asking me if I've eaten, you'll simply say 'I think you should eat.' Without looking into my eyes.
I prefer this type of relationship. Where we don't need to be so intimate because I'm afraid.
I'm frightened by the time that I have to leave you not because I was tired of you perhaps this cruel disease came up to me the one they so called alzheimer's disease.
I know it was so rare for a young adult just like me to have that but how unlucky am I that I've got that rare case of alzheimer's disease.
Everything seems so exasperating. Why can't the odd of Gods just let me live happy with you or its just I was never meant for you.
I guess I have to deal with these.
7 o'clock tonight I was waiting for you to arrive. I keep on pressing the power button from the remote control that was placed into my hands,
But guess what? The television wouldn't open. I heard the door open and by that I tilted my head just to see you removing your shoes.
You seemed so tired but I smiled knowing that somehow you were happy for what you have achieved.
You saw me at the couch and you give me a tiny bit of smile. That was the time that you've asked me what was I doing I've tried to answer as fast as I could.
It was hard for me to compose those 'should be' easy words. I told you that 'I was about to watch the television but I couldn't seem to open it.' Stuttering through every words but I was more than glad that I've manage to tell you that.
You checked it and I was suprised from the behavior you showed me but I smiled at that. How I wish we could continue to be like this.
You called me and as soon as I looked to you, you wave the unplugged television plug.
I deeply sighed at that and just gave you a false chuckle so that it won't be obvious that there was something going on.
Did you see those signs? Well I guess it puzzled you out but I know you were still oblivious about those things while you just shrugged it off.
*-*-*-*-*
We mostly fight every night because of my behaviour. I was so depressed of what's happening to me.
I was aware of that, so I'll be always the one to go onto your room to apologise while I embrace you and tell you I didn't mean to.
You'll just pat my back and nod. But I know, you're starting to wonder why am I like this.
I'll be hugging you until I fell asleep. I don't want to spend my remaining time fighting with you.
