Poems...

For My Love (the original Adam thing)

Before Emma (@emmaformet ) hacked the other one -For Adam - this was my original post. 😂

She kept you up at night, didn't she? And not with sexual misadventures or some misguided attempt at passion. No, she kept you up at night with the way she hoped and prayed that you would come back. See, when you moved away, she pretended like she was okay. And even worse everyone believed it. But then you started to sleep at night, resting instead of talking. And she noticed- believe me, she noticed- that you had stopped yourself from even talking to her. So she started to forget you. She began trying to get over you, trying to keep the pain from ever being felt. You were still caught up in the movements and motions of moving, that you thought of her less and less. You got clean, while she relapsed against a cold metal blade. You were in pain, pain that she knew. Pain that you both fucking shared- pain that turned into love. Well, she thought it was love, and so did you at one point. But you don't forget about ones you love. No, you don't sleep at night over a girl you love.
She was doing fine, until YOU kept her up at night, feeling guilty about checking out a cute guy here or there. You kept her up at night with thoughts of concern and with the agony of how much she misses you. That was, until she gets a text from the dumbass himself, saying so nonchalantly. "I've been thinking about you a lot recently." Then she bites back her rosy-cheeked smile and writes that she misses you, the pain subsiding for the duration of your conversation. And then she keeps you up at night, but just that night that you two talked, smiles making her cheeks hurt while you reflect on words you both said.
She begged you so innocently, to say how you feel, so you lied. "I still love you," just slipped right out from beneath your thumbs and she cried with joy, instantly responding that she felt the same. You regretted that message, knowing how you've changed. But then again she did used to keep you up at night, didn't she?
That night you both were wide awake- you feeling ashamed and her feeling light as a feather. She texted you often after that, and you always ended with those three ridiculous words- a lie you kept up so that she could sleep at night. Maybe you did love her, at one point. Maybe you still had feelings, but not of love. You were just trying to be courteous.
Then all of the sudden you decided to stop the lie, never responding. She always texted you first, so you knew she wouldn't notice it initially. You turned away, hanging your damned head in shame as you read her messages, never responding to anything. And then she stopped, not fooling herself any longer. Not preserving that dream she thought would come true. But as always, she kept you up at night. Not with feelings of love, or even with guilt. No, she kept you up at night to allow you to wallow in your mistakes and self pity. And you kept her up at night too. She wasn't heart broken, damnit she was stronger than that. No, you kept her up at night with play-by-plays and recollections of what she might have done wrong.
But she was only trying to give you what she had always had, and you were trying to be kind to the girl who understood your kind of pain.

She loved the existence of you.
She thought that the feelings weren't reciprocated.

But secretly, you knew she kept you up at night as well. You thought she was the most perfect thing in the universe, even though she never felt that way. You longed for the day you could tell her that she meant the world to you, for the day you could tell her she was the prettiest, most messed up masterpiece you had ever seen, priceless in your eyes.