fanboy | meanie

16

// 3 months later //

It's almost Christmas. Which means it's almost the end of the year.

3 months since Wonwoo promised that he would explain to me. 3 months since I came out of the closet. 3 months since I smashed my former phone on the wall. 3 months since all of that happened.

Now, I'm not so well.

1) I quit Youtube. I gave up the one thing that I really love and enjoy doing, making videos. 

People say that when the one you really care about leaves you, it automatically feels like everything in this world is dull. You feel as if everything is useless and you just start existing instead of living.

I've felt that twice already. When I came out to my parents and when Wonwoo left for America. I know he has his own reasons but I can't help but feel needles piercing through my heart. 

2) I'm alone, again.

I know I shouldn't feel that way seeing that, even after posting my last video on Youtube, 'Goodbye, Youtube', I'm still receiving love and messages from my subscribers saying that they love me and will continue on supporting me in whatever I do in the future. 

You know the feeling as if even though you're with your friends and family who loves and adores you, but you can't help but feel as if they're not even there. If you put your hand through them, it would go through then they'd disappear in thin air. 

That's how I felt after the most important people in my life left me.

3) I.. started smoking.

I have no reason for that.

It's just one of those stupid things you do after something bad happens to you, I guess. 

And 

4) I'm madly in love with Jeon Wonwoo.

I don't know why.

But I know that I should be hating that bastard for leaving me.

For not explaining like he promised to.

For not even texting a 'Hi'.

For making my heart pound really fast whenever I think about him.

You know, sometimes when I'm about to go to sleep, my mind starts wondering on how he has been doing. Whether he's doing alright, living in America and all. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, most likely not.

That's the current update on Kim Mingyu, I guess. Haha. If you have anything to ask me, Kim Mingyu, or any opinions, just comment below :)

I'll be sure to get right back to you guys~

-

same like wonwoo

comment below👇👇

i honestly feel so sad for mingyu TuT