By the time I got to the street she lived on, and was stood watching her house, I had completely bottled it and wanted to run home.
But I stood rooted to the spot, knowing that if I didn't do this now I would just torture myself for another few days, then come back.
The area she lived in was nothing short of magnificent; the houses were probably only a little smaller than Cheryl's, I couldn't imagine how much one of them cost. Obviously when she had met someone else and married him, she had married into money. A hell of a lot more money than she had had with my father.
'Come on Kimberley strap on a pair.' I muttered to myself. Before I could think about it I marched right up to the door and knocked.
I shouldn't really have expected her to answer. That would have been too easy. Of course she didn't.
The boy who answered the door looked so much like Adam, I almost fell over. I actually felt sick looking at him. This was my little brother. My brother.
'Hello, can I help you?' he smiled politely.
'Y-yes. Sorry, hello. I was wondering if your mums in?'
'Yeah, she's in the kitchen, I'll just get her, hang on.'
He disappeared, half-closing the door. I wanted to run then, more than ever. Seeing him had completely thrown me off.
Before I knew it she was there. She smiled, a strange look on her face, as though she had seen me somewhere before. 'Hello love. Are you ok?'
I couldn't answer. Nothing happened when I opened my mouth.
'Oh, hold on I know you! You're the lady who helped me find Ben's birthday present.' Lowering her voice a little she said, 'he loved it, what you found for me. He was really pleased. He wants a drumkit next. Does your place sell instruments too?'
As if suddenly realising we were at her front door, she added, 'is there a reason you're here love?'
Her innocent, slightly confused expression and simpering voice suddenly made me feel furious.
'You don't know who I am do you?'
'...Well, yes, you're the one who--'
'No. I mean you don't know who I really am. You don't recognise me at all. Do you?'
'I think you've got me confused with somebody else love.' She frowned, raising her hand to the back of the door.
'No, I definitely haven't, because I actually remember you.' I snapped. 'Let me help you out; my name's Kimberley Walsh.'
Finally, that recognition. That look of utter shock. She went completely white.
'Oh. So you do remember you're other children then. Only I seem to recall you saying you only had the one.'
She didn't say a word. She was looking at me like I'd just popped out of the ground with six eyes or something. I found I couldn't stop myself all of a sudden.
'Just in case you need reminding, there were three others after me. Sally and Amy. And Adam, you're other son. You'd probably have even more trouble recognising them than you did me, since they were even younger when you left us.'
Still nothing.
'Haven't you got anything?!' I said, much louder, and she flinched. 'You've got to give me something. You stood there without the slightest clue you were talking to the daughter you abandoned. Sorry, one of the daughters you abandoned. You left four kids without a mother for sixteen years, you broke my dad's heart, you went off and married some other man and had his kid, you've got to give me something, just tell me why?!'
