‘Hey babe… brought your smoothie.’
‘Don’t look remember!’
‘I’m not looking… as hard as it is, I’m not looking.’ I said, sharing a grin with Cheryl’s tattoo artist and walking around the table she was lying on to sit in front of her, turning the straw around in her smoothie for her. That day was her final session, the day her tattoo would be completed.
‘Mmm… thank you baby. What d’you wanna do today when we’re done here?’
‘I have a few ideas but I don’t want to say so in front of the nice gentleman.’ I chuckled, causing Cheryl to groan and hide her face.
‘I’m kidding… hey I’ve got something to tell you though.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yep. News from across the pond.’
‘Uh-oh.’ Cheryl cringed. ‘I don’t like the sound of that.’
‘You will in a minute.’ I said, leaning back and scrolling through my phone. ‘Sarah’s just sent this to me.’
Cheryl watched me, a worried look remaining on her face. I had been texting Sarah while I had waited in the queue to get her a refreshing smoothie, and she had told me that while the press had picked up on the fact we hadn’t flown home with herself and Adam, they hadn’t yet quite figured out why.
‘Okay, you ready?’
‘I suppose.’
I cleared my throat. ‘Cheryl and Kimberley house-hunting in LA.’
‘Eh?!’
‘Wait there’s more. Chim’s Vegas Catfight, followed by the subheading, The UK’s golden lesbian couple on the brink of separation after string of violent arguments over DJ’s gambling habits.’
‘Gambling habits?!’ Cheryl spluttered, some of her smoothie actually dribbling down her chin. ‘And since when are we any sort of golden lesbian couple, whatever that means?! They can’t bloody stand us half the time!’
‘Hang on, I’ve not got to the best one yet.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Listen… Kim Caves In: Chim look to adopt in States.’
‘What the bloody fcuking hell are they takin’.’ Cheryl said, straight faced, making me burst out laughing. ‘Are they actually for real though? In the same week, we’re lookin’ for a house, lookin’ for a kid and fightin’ like cat and dog over your mythical gamblin’ addiction… Jesus if I wanted to be in Eastenders…’
‘Oh screw them.’ I laughed. ‘They’ve obviously ran out of budget to actually continue stalking you abroad so they’re just paying some very bad fictional writers instead. I think it’s hilarious, so does Sarah… she says she can barely keep a straight face when she hears someone mention it.’
‘They’re gonna get the shock of their lives when we go back and find out we’re married now.’ Cheryl grinned.
‘Damn right. How’s your smoothie?’
‘Really good thank you… didn’t you get one?’
‘No I couldn’t decide what to get and I just panicked when I got to the front of the queue. Can I try some?’
‘No.’ Cheryl said with a straight face, taking a long sip. I raised my eyebrows at her and she grinned. ‘Awh course you can cutie… how’s my butt lookin’?’
