Nightfall

Chapter 3: Reality Check

That night sleep didn't even cross my mind. My mom snored as I stared up into the dark void that was the ceiling of my room and ran the memories of the party through my mind over and over again. Hoping to find something that had been missed in all the chaos of the last couple days I scrutinized every single detail, but nothing came to mind that I didn't already know. If anything, I just made my situation worse by overthinking things and confusing myself. So, by the time that the first rays of light began to lighten the sky my head was packed full of so many different emotions and thoughts that I was both mentally and physically exhausted.

Since I wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, I decided that sitting on the beach and watching the sunrise sounded about a thousand times better than staying locked up in the prison of my room. So, rolling out of bed, I crept through my small, dim house. It was still hard to see so I clumsily bumped into the couch and a few other assorted pieces of furniture as I made my way to the front door, but eventually I stepped out of the quiet house and into the peaceful, salty morning air.

I sat far enough back on the white sand so that most of the cool waves rolling onto the beach only came to my toes. I hugged my knees as I stared out onto the calm, dark water. The fear coursing through me was unlike anything else I had experienced before. This wasn't "I'm too scared on get on the roller coaster" fear, this fear stemmed from something that defied understanding and was accompanied by severe anxiety about what the future would hold. Although, by far the worst part about the situation was the fact that I couldn't even talk to anyone about it. After all, who would believe me? I had never been a particularly religious person, but at that moment I folded my hands and prayed. It helped me calm down voicing my concerns out loud, although I had no idea whether or not anyone was listening.

"Uhm, hey God, if you're up there I could really use some help right now. I, uh, don't know exactly how to say this but I'm pretty sure I'm possessed or something-"

A thought struck me.

If I'm possessed by a demon isn't a church the place to go to be exorcised?

The idea of going up to a priest and telling him I was possessed by a demon of some kind didn't sound particularly enjoyable, but hey, if anyone was going to believe me a priest would be my first pick. I dropped my hands as the sun began to light up the sky overhead. If that sudden realization wasn't a prayer being answered, then I didn't know what was. Still, having an idea of where to start on my journey did nothing to ease my nerves about taking the first step.

I set my head on my knees and sighed as I stared over the clearing water. The world around me seemed so peaceful and serene in the calm before the start of the day. The air was quiet, filled with nothing but the rhythmic lapping of waves on the shore, and while the unreal tranquility of the moment was relaxing, it made the twisting in my gut worse.

I remember thinking, it feels like the calm before the storm.

My stomach was writhing with anxiety that told me that my life was going to be getting dark and scary, and that fear made the experience particularly bittersweet. The horrible memories that I had obtained played in my head as I sat quietly on the beach, occasionally pulling my attention away from the view. Eventually I fell prey once again to the memories that were a repeating movie in my head, dragging me back down into the horrible reality that I was wading through, but the brightening of the sky helped pull me from my thoughts and in the moment of clarity I bit down on my tongue.

The pain helped drag me back to the postcard view, and as I stared something my mom said from time to time echoed in me.

"Appreciate what you have right now, the worries of tomorrow can wait 'till tomorrow."