Danny and Olivier

Part 8- Why Danny's Mute

Danny clasped Olivier’s hand in silence as they walked up Portrero Hill in the pouring rain, finally reaching one of those sprawling, beautiful mansions that Olivier always passed by on his way to school.
            “Damn,” Olivier looked at the soft, velvet curtains hanging in front of the front windows and watched as Danny pulled out a ring of house keys, selecting one and jamming it into the doorknob.
             Danny smiled and let Olivier in, kicking off his boots in the process and peeling off his jacket. Olivier took off his worn Converse and stared at the fading black fabric for a second before pulling off his ratty old coat.
            “Go shower upstairs, there’s a towel and everything already in there.” Danny pointed to the wooden staircase in the sprawling grand entrance and crooked his arm to the left. “On the left.”
              “Your room?”
             “Yes.”
             Danny went into the kitchen and watched Olivier’s reflection in the windows as he shook his wet hair. He looks so beautiful, Danny smiled to himself as Olivier walked upstairs in his worn grey jeans and his plain black shirt.
            Olivier, on the other hand, was beyond amazed. He never imagined that a bathroom could have twenty brands of self-care products, especially as he was running the hot water for a bath in Danny’s glass marble bathroom. But all Olivier could do was think about Danny. Not the glass, the marble, the products. But Danny.
             Danny took a shower in his parents’ bathroom, the one with the Jacuzzi and the two sinks. He got out hurriedly and pulled on a pair of black boxers and a black shirt, then realized that Olivier didn’t have any clothes.
            Crap. Danny ran to his room and listened as the water ran. Okay, good. He’s in the shower still.
             Then the water stopped.
            “Dammit!” Danny snapped, and ran to his closet, pulling out a pair of blue boxers, some black pajama pants and a purple shirt with a giraffe on it
             Danny knocked on the door and Olivier put a hand out. Psychic, both boys thought. Olivier smiled as he put on the fancy underwear and the nice, soft pajama pants. He chuckled at the giraffe shirt and put the soft fabric over his body. God, even his underwear is nice. He blushed, ashamed of his yellowing cotton boxers that he’d worn for well over a year. Whatever wasn’t necessary for Olivier’s family, they didn’t buy.
             When Olivier came out with his floppy brown hair wet and a towel over his shoulders, Danny couldn’t help but smile. Olivier was so different from anyone else— Danny thought that he was like a mystery to be solved. Like there was more than meets the eye.
             Olivier padded over to Danny with his clothes neatly folded and put it on the floor near Danny’s large, California-king bed. “Better?” Danny asked, arranging a pile of books on his bedside table.
             “Yeah.”
             Danny crawled up on his massive bed, making his 5”5 frame a little shorter, a little cuter. He patted the area beside him, covered in down pillows, and invited Olivier to join him.
             Olivier looked a little hesitant as he crawled up slowly, but relaxed as Danny put an arm around him. “How tall are you?” Danny asked, kissing the nape of Olivier’s neck. Olivier blushed wildly, but managed to answer Danny’s question.
             “I’m only 5”7.” Olivier shrugged. “Can you please tell me now, why you’re mute?”
             Was, Danny thought. Because he had used his voice to get back the guy he thought he’d never see again. Which is stupid. I only met him last night. Then, again, I’m cuddling with him. In my room. Gahh.
             Danny looked at Olivier’s wonderful eyes. Olivier looked back with a hint of understanding, compassion, maybe. And Danny decided that it was time to tell him.
             Danny opened his mouth. And spoke. “So, there was this guy named Evan Hanes…”
            
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             Danny walked his way towards Spanish class, hurriedly doing his Spanish homework in the last five minutes before the final bell rang.
             “What is ‘to buy’ in Spanish…” He repeated his question under his breath over and over, stopping in the hall. “To buy…”
             BAM!
             “Oh my GOD, I’m so sorry!” Danny closed his eyes as he lay on the floor, seeing black spots. His nose was numb and he felt…blood dripping from his nose.
             Danny’s tongue poked up and tasted his lip. Yep, blood for sure, Danny thought as the door recoiled and his stranger appeared.
             “Sit up, sit up,” his stranger quickly hoisted Danny up and picked up his binders, scrawled across the floor. Then his stranger pulled out a tissue from his back pocket and held it under Danny’s nose.
             “I’m sorry.” Danny finally cleared the black spots from his vision and saw the school soccer star in front of him, in all his tan glory. Bronze hair and his beautiful, sparkling brown eyes. Evan Hanes.
            “It’s okay,” Danny finally replied, squeezing his nose and stopping the blood flow.
             “You want me to take you to the nurse?” Evan kneeled down in front of Danny, so close that he could smell his Drakkar Noir.
             “No, no, it’s okay.” Danny tried to smile and collected his Spanish homework, clicking his pen. “I have to go.”
             “Alright, but I’m sorry, Danny.” Evan brushed some hair away from Danny’s forehead and watched as his cheeks burned a bright red. Evan giggled.
             “I’ll see you around, yeah?” Evan smiled at Danny, then left. Danny stared after Evan’s toned ass, then got up.
             “Comprar.”
             “What?” Danny turned back to Evan, flipping his body.
             “Spanish. ‘To buy’? Comprar.” Evan smiled and continued walking, not once looking back.
             Danny knew because he watched Evan.

 Days turned into weeks, into months. In those months, Evan asked Danny out. Evan took Danny to see a movie, Evan took Danny to the museum and reserved the very top of the building at night so Evan could scatter rose petals around and offer champagne to Danny, giving him a romantic dinner. Evan made sure that Danny could see the Golden Gate Bridge and the skyline, giving Danny one of the best evenings of his life. Evan and Danny shared their first kiss on the tire swing near Golden Gate Park, and Evan told Danny that he loved him on Stinson Beach.
             They never slept together, because they were ‘waiting for the right time.’ And Danny didn’t want another thing to worry about with his parents always telling Danny that he was going about life in the wrong way, and how Danny wasn’t doing things right, even when they were hardly ever home.
             And there was the fact that Evan was still not out to anyone yet. They kept their relationship secret, stuck to midnight calls and notes in between classes, and occasionally, times in the storage closet.
             Danny and Evan were in the storage closet, sticking their tongues down each other’s throats and whispering to each other. “I love you,” Evan would whisper, and Danny would smile and kiss Evan even more.
             But then there was that day. The day where everything goes wrong.
             Danny pulled back from Evan in the storage closet and looked at Evan funny, clearly sensing something wrong. Evan wasn’t kissing Danny back, and Evan certainly didn’t whisper anything into Danny’s ears today. In fact, Evan didn’t even put a little sweet in his locker, like he did each day before school.
            “What’s wrong?” Danny asked, swaying along with his hands on Evan’s hips. Evan tensed and struggled away from Danny. “What’s wrong, baby?”
             “Nothing,” Evan shrugged. “Let’s go.”
             Evan was never one to cut their storage room visits short. In fact, Evan would hold off as long as possible, kissing Danny until Danny absolutely had to go.
             “Fine,” Danny sighed, unlocking the storage room door and stepping out. But what he saw scarred him for life.
             His whole grade was crowded around the door, with their camera phones up and running, smirking and smiling as Danny came out of the storage room, confused.
             “Joke’s over!” A chorus of twelve people called out, laughing and smiling. That got Danny even more confused.
             Joke? What joke? Danny looked around in a daze. And that’s when it dawned on him. Me. I’m the joke.
             Danny turned back to Evan, who was blushing in the storage closet. “So that date meant nothing?” Danny said quietly, so low that no one else but Evan could hear it. “That kiss in the park? Stinson Beach? It all meant nothing?”
             “Danny— “
             But Danny didn’t wait to hear what Evan wanted to say. Danny felt like his whole life had just broken in two; that the Danny Schallinger he knew wasn’t there anymore. Evan was the last thread to that.
             But worst of all, Danny felt betrayed. He had really loved Evan with all his heart. He had spent every waking moment thinking of ways to surprise Evan, writing little poems and even wrote that stupid song for him. That stupid song that was now laying somewhere in the dump.
             But it was too late, too. The song was permanently etched into his brain, the chords, the lyrics. The meaning.
             The emotion, the pain, and most importantly, the love.
             And that’s when Danny vowed never to talk again. Because if Danny had never talked to Evan in the first place, his pain wouldn’t have happened. And he wouldn’t be feeling empty inside.
           
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Olivier had tears in his eyes once Danny finished his story, and Danny reached over and kissed his tears away.
             “Why are you crying?” Danny whispered into Olivier’s ear, tucking Olivier’s hair behind his ear. But Olivier didn’t answer, but instead, sat there and inhaled the fresh smell of Danny.
             “Why me, then?” Olivier asked, watching Danny’s expression.
              “Because you made me feel more than I had with Evan,” Danny whispered silently. “And I can’t let that go. I know that this isn’t a joke, Oli. You made me feel inside. I wasn’t empty today at all.”
              Olivier pulled up the down comforter around him and lay on a pillow, sniffling. “That’s terrible, Danny.”
              “And that’s why I don’t talk,” Danny pulled up the covers around him as well and lay on the pillow right next to Olivier. “I don’t want to risk anything anymore. If I talk, I get hurt. If I don’t talk, I also get hurt. I might as well save my breath.”
              “So why are you talking to me?” Olivier ran his thumb over Danny’s smooth, damp skin, staring into his deep blue eyes. Ones that held a lot more than Olivier expected.
              “I’m talking to you because I’m willing to take that chance,” Danny whispered softly, taking hold of Olivier’s hand. “I’m jumping right now. And I haven’t landed yet.”
              Olivier squeezed Danny’s hand as Danny dimmed the bedside light, leaving the room in a soft, yellow glow. “I’ll catch you, Danny. I’ll catch you.”