~~~~
There was a mixture of feelings settling in Daniela's stomach. As soon as she woke up and found herself naked, and alone yet again. She felt angry and frustrated but mostly, she felt ashamed.
**
I always wondered if there was a scientific explanation for the physical pain in your chest when you have a broken heart.
Because right now I feel like my heart is caving in and I have no way to stop the harsh ache.
Normally I wake up and roll over to find myself in an empty bed and I brush it off with a sigh, or a roll of the eyes but not today. Today I woke up and my only reaction was to reach for the pillow where my lover rested her head last night and clasp it tightly to my chest, inhaling her scent and letting out all of the tears I didn't allow myself to cry all of the other times. Today as my eyes begun to stung from all the tears and my chest begun to tighten I just felt stupid, and embarrassed because I keep allowing her to do this.
Last night I told her that I hated her, I showed her how much she hurts me and her only response was to take another piece of me when she walked out on me, yet again.
How stupid can I be? How long will I let her break my heart? How is she able to do this to me over and over again?
I begrudgingly get out of bed knowing that I would have to go to school and see Lauren. This would be the last semester where she would be my professor since after English Lit, I had to take Freshmen Composition courses with her as well. Right now she is the last person I want to see but I have to put my emotions aside and be responsible with my school work.
My morning goes by in a blur. I don't know if it's because I got ready quickly or if the excessive pain has simply numbed me out, making me lose my concept of time.
I do know that it is now five minutes before class and I look like shit. I didn't bother to do my make up, all I did was throw on some ripped jeans and my oversized white painting shirt. I even contemplated not wearing a bra but I decided to throw one on.
Due to the lack of make up it was extremely noticeable that I had been crying, but I didn't care. People were just going to have to deal with my bloodshot eyes, red nose, and bags under my eyes, just like I was going to have to deal with them starring.
"Good Morning class" her voice echoed confidently through the classroom. Surely, my stomach did a backflip just like it always does. Except this time it wasn't due to excitement, now it actually made me feel a bit nauseous.
"I trust you are all doing we-" she stopped.
This was when I knew she noticed my current state but I didn't dare look at her, because I knew I'd simply burst out into tears once again. So I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept my eyes focused at the blank spot atop the whiteboard knowing there was no way our eyes would accidentally meet if I kept them fixated on that spot.
"Um" she tried to continue "Well" she finished. I heard her clear her throat as she continued.
"Today we're going to do something a little different" she said gaining the strength in her voice back.
"Typically we would discuss the reading that I assigned the previous class but not today" she announced "This gives those of you who didn't read it the opportunity to come prepared for next class, yes Bryan I am talking to you" she said playfully.
I didn't have to be looking down at her to know that there was a smirk resting on her lips as she leaned against her desk, basking in the roar of laughter that she emitted from her students.
