Alone and Abused

Alone and Abused Part 3

It’s Wednesday the 17th of November. I wake up to the phone ringing. Brittany's on the other end, his sister. What is she doing call me at 7:30 in the morning? She is bawling her eyes out I have never even seen her cry a tiny bit let alone she just calls me bawling her eyes out. Something must be very wrong. Maybe there has been a fall out with one of his uncles and serious shit has gone down. I don’t know. 

"Britt," I say calmly "What’s wrong? What happened?"

On the other end of the phone she sobs loudly "Jake, he, he umm Hannah he's dead."

"Brittany bub, are you sure?" In my head I am thinking this cannot be true. My boyfriend dead? He is only 16 how is this even possible?

"Hannah, he actually is dead, the ambulance peoples said he was dead, mummy got a call from a hospital at like 2 this morning, she, she left and got back, back around 7:00. S-s-sorry we didn't call you earlier. But we, we didn't know what to do. Hannah Jack is gone, I’m, and I’m never going to be able to see him again, ever am I?"

"Brittany baby girl, calm down, take slower breathers and try stop crying. Jack is gone, but you will be able to see him in heaven when you get to go up there. He will be watching over you until then." In my head a million things are going on. I know I have to stay calm; Britt is only 12 she will not be dealing with this well at all. What am I saying I’m only 13 and my boyfriend is dead? I know all the bad things he did to me and has done but he didn't deserve to die. No one deserves to die and I believe that. I don't even know how he died. "Brittany, how did Jake die?"

"Hannah, mummy said I'm not allowed to talk about it, you have to come down and talk to her and Uncle Marc about it."

Uncle Marc, serious shit has happened now. His Uncle Marc usually lives in Sydney, I wonder why he is down and coincidently at the time Jack died. Someone on that side of the family must have stuffed up a deal again. Last time this happened Jake and the whole family wasn't allowed out for a whole month. Maybe this time the shit has caught up with them. 

"Britt tell mum that I will be down as soon as I can probably Saturday, okay? I have to go to school. By by, I love you be careful."

"Okay Hannah, just told mum she said it should be fine. Thanks for calming me down a bit. Love you too." I hear Linda take the phone off Britt and hang up. 

I went through the rest of the day like a zombie. I told a few people and everyone just seemed to find out. I didn’t even cry. I didn’t think I should. I don’t really think this is going to sink in for a while yet. I can’t seem to grasp the fact I will never see him again. Even though he did all this shit, I just want to touch him, feel him hug me, kiss my forehead. I think I will miss him despite everything, but no one even knows the “everything” of this situation. Should I tell someone? I don’t know. He is gone now so it doesn’t matter. I will move on eventually. I hope, at least one day in the distant future I will.