Today was odd. Madam was nowhere to be found. Ms. Ana came for us this morning, and she told us to wear our special suits. It fit me perfectly today. I must have grown! She took Yelena and me to Red Rover. She said,"You must hurry!" I do not know why we had to hurry, but we did. The Red Rover was playing the viola in his room. Oh, what a beautiful sound! I do not like the piano much. Madam Terf plays it while we dance. Red Rover turned to us. He looked angry. Ms. Ana looked angry too.
"Peter," She said.
Red Rover only nodded. She left quickly. Peter is his name. It is odd. I only know him as the Masked Man or Red Rover. Still, his name is Peter. He sat his viola down on a table, and turned to another one. Many, many guns, knives, batons, and weapons were waiting there. Red Rover wrote on the board.
Little widows, today you will spar. No weapons, only hand-to-hand combatives are acceptable. I want to see blood.
He turned me, and nodded. I did not want to fight Yelena. She shook her head. The masked man shoved her on the floor. He pointed a finger in her face and pushed her when she tried to get up. Then, he stopped, as if it had never happened. I was scared. I did not want to fight Yelena, but I did not want Red Rover to hurt her. She stood up, and nodded at me. Tears were running down her face, but she fought me. I won. I would not cause her extra pain. Red Rover hit her again. He wrote on the board.
Make her feel pain. Make her suffer. I want to see her blood.
I would not hurt her more. He hit me. Hard. It left a bruise on my shoulder. I shook my head. He hit me again. Red Rover looked sad. He was angry with Yelena. He was mean to her. I do not like it. He made us spar again. Yelena won. She was sad. She hit me when Red Rover instructed her to. My nose was bloody because she punched me. She cried and cried. Red Rover wrote on the board.
You will not cry! No. Stupid girl.
She bit her tongue and held them in as best as she could. Her whole face was red from the blood and tears. It was frightening. Red Rover made us spar twice more. It took me a while to pin her to the floor. Red stickiness was dried in my poor red hair. I suppose it's ironic. I think I used that correctly...Bepa taught me that word. Oh, I miss Bepa! I had hoped when Ms. Ana told us that we would be moving rooms that I would share with her finally. No, Ms. Ana brought us to a new room after our English lessons and ballet class, and Bepa was not there. Ms. Ana chained us to the beds with handcuffs. It is hard to write, but, it is good that I am left handed. It makes me sad. Yelena sleeps right next to me, and I met a new girl. She has been here many days. She says the beds look hard and rusty, but they will do. She has light brown hair and pretty green eyes, like mine. I think she is nearly done with her training. Yelena asked her about the handcuffs. She told us they did it every night, and not to worry. I do worry. I asked her if she knew Bepa. She didn't. I miss Bepa. I wish she was here with me. I am scared, but I must continue my training.
My suit fits perfectly, and I love it. Madam told us yesterday that we must be poised and always under control, and we are to look beautiful. I wish she would let us wear tutus. The older girls do so, and they are beautiful. I do not feel beautiful in my itchy pink tights. I wear my hair the same as the older girls. It was hard at first, but I am learning to fix my hair. Yelena helps too. She has big sisters and they showed her how when she was little. Bepa always played with my hair. Oh, how I miss her!
English is difficult. Ms. Ana tells us we must speak without fault, and without our Russian accents. Yelena is also learning Russian. She is struggling, but I am helping her. The letters are hard for her. She does better in English than me because of the letters. Ms. Ana is teaching us a song to remember the letters. I think it says
A B C D E...
I'm not sure what comes next. Maybe I will learn tomorrow.
