Bad Blood || K. Jongin

15| 인간의

∘∘☥∘∘☥∘∘☥∘∘

(Jongin)

We stood there in silence for a good 5 minutes. I almost forgot how uncomfortable his stare was when he was angry.

"Now before you get mad at me-"

"Get mad at you? What the hell Jongin? The moment I saw you I was pissed!" Kyungsoo interrupts me immediately, his voice raising slightly as his feelings finally pour out. "You stumble into my house at who knows how late in the night, with some strange foreign girl...And, AND the two of you are fucking bleeding."

I throw my hands up to stop him, but he continues to yell at me in a hushed tone. "And to make matters worse, you pass out like the big fat pussy you are! Leaving me with this emotionally damaged girl who knows nothing about us or the situation she's in? Are you out of your fucking mind or something?"

I hang my head in shame. Hearing everything from him makes me sound like the stupidest person on earth.

But for some reason, I can't seem to regret the choices I made.

"You're right. Im sorry, but I didn't know where else to go."

"I don't care that you came here, I just want to know why the fuck you killed your uncle, and why you have a pretty foreign girl wrapped around your finger?"

"I .. uh."

Kyungsoo exhales deeply, running a hand through his greasy black hair before collapsing on the edge of my bed. He looks real upset, but he doesn't speak another word.

"I don't know much myself. I think I finally snapped."

My heart starts to oddly beat faster. Nothing bothers me anymore. But when I think about her my mind fogs up.

I look over to meet Kyungsoo's gaze, guilt creeping up my throat at the sight of him with a genuinely worried expression.

"I don't know. Guilt, anger, sadness? This life I live is morally wrong, but it's the only one I've ever known. I'm tired of killing, im tired of watching these evil deeds play out in front of me."

I feel my jaw clenching.

"I don't feel human anymore."

I pull up the sleeve of my shirt and trace a hesitant line over the tattoo, across the bandage on my bicep, then do it all over again.

"This will never go away. They marked me and I can never escape. But the thought of trying seemed too amazing to pass up-"

"I know I'm different for my age, more advanced and.. You know.. But I'm still young and stupid, I still make mistakes. But I can't ignore these feelings, I can't live like this forever. I want my freedom, I want so many things that I can't have because of what I'm involved in."

Kyungsoo closes his eyes at my words. He's heard me talk like this for years, but this time we both know I'm serious. I've finally taken the step that might get me killed. "Jongin-"

"I know the consequences. Chinho made sure to drill them into my head. I know I'm a killer, I know I should be in jail. I know everything, but I still made that choice. I chose her."

Chinho.

He's finally dead.

After all those years of submission, after all the killings, all the beatings, and all the terrible memories.