I turned the radio off before pressing my head to the steering wheel. My heart was beating fast, just like it has been every day since the crash. Tears threatened to fall, and eventually they did.
I screwed my eyes shut and tried to remember another day, A happier one. One that doesnt tear me apart inside.
However, no matter how many sweet memories ran through my mind, I couldnt feel better. No matter what I did to try and replace such a horrible day, my mood couldnt be restored.
I remember so many things, and yet not a single memory could heal my wounds.
I began to panic as I kept trying harder and harder to feel better. My breathes were short and ragged. My entire body trembled. I clutched my head, tugging at the fistful of hair in my hands as my once silent cries became audible.
Thoughts racing throw my head, just like they did the day he left me. Memories digging their way deep into my core, yet none of them good enough to make me forget my pain.
Oh, the excruciating pain. It just wont go away. My head aches, My stomachs twisting and turning and I feel like I'm choking. Suffocating in depression.
The images wont go away. I can still hear flatline of his machine. It all wont go away. The way his hand suddenly went limp before the flatline went off. How I never even got to tell him goodbye. How I said I love you right before the flatline, but he didnt hear it.
In this very moment I feel as if I'm fading. I'm alive, and yet Im decaying. Rotting away like a corpse. My emotions are just slowly decomposing as I become more numb to basic feelings.
I dont have him, so all I can do is remember, and that kills me.
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Choppy but oh well
YOU ARE READING
Remember || Solby
FanfictionDeath is inevitable. * * Hes gone and in a way I am too * * Sort of a one shot book... But every one shot is a part of an important story. Two boys grow together and eventually fall. However, its all over rather quickly for the sweet couple....
