Who Am I

Past-Chapter 1

I was sitting in homeroom, five minutes to go, when Tania, the receptionist knocked on the door. She gracefully stepped into the classroom. She is a young, Maori lady. She looked so nice today in her white shirt with black writing on it and her black pleated skirt, which ended just above her knees. Her skirt was perfect height for a women like her. She might not be very tall, but she has long legs. Tania the kind of lady who's not too fat but not too skinny. Her long burnett hair with blond ends was curled nicely today and matched her outfit perfectly. She made her way to the teacher, Mr Carter. They had their discussion, Tania then walked over to me which surprised me. I'm not the kind of girl who gets in trouble lots, unless I'm with the boys. I've never been sent out of class before and I try to get straight As mostly. I didn't think I was in trouble, but if I am not why is she coming over to me then?
"Caroline, honey". She spoke softly. "Can you please come with me". She is not the sort of women to argue with.
"Shame Caroline. You got caught". Mathew sung. I laughed with him. Matt is Tania's son and in of my best guy mates. Matt's laughter suddenly stopped. I spun around to look at him. He was looking at me. When our eyes meet her gave me an apologetic look. I looked at Tania. She just kept walking. What have I missed? I'm scared now.

When we finally reached the office I saw my dad's best friend, JoJo. He's a police officer. What scared me more was the fact he was in uniform and so was his friend.
"Hey, kid". Jo spoke with a grin. "Don't worry about him, he's my partner in crime". His words made me laugh. I'm not the kind of girl who giggles. Giggling and laughing are total opposites. His voice and expression change when he said the next sentence.
"Cas, your mother she.." he trailed off unable to speak.
"Caroline, I'm Marty" I shook his hand. "What Jo here is trying to say is that, Caroline we are very, very sorry but uhmm. Caroline your mother, sister, Tom and your grandparents have been involved in serious car accident". What? Why? How? My heart sank. My head was spinning. I have so many questions. Are they okay? What if they die? I couldn't bare to lose them.
"Cas, I'm so sorry Hun. I shall explain more in the car". They escorted me to the car and helped me get in. Right now I am in shock. I can barely feel anything.

"They had.." Jo's phone rang. When he finished with his call, he and Marty exchanged looks. "I am so, so, very, truly sorry Cas". He whispered. At this point I was too confused to ask any questions. But is he sorry about the accident in general or whatever his phone call was about. " They were driving back from the airport with your grandparents, when it started to snow. The further they drove the worse it got. They must have hit ice or something and spin out in front of a truck. They hit the truck side on, the rolled under it. When we got there.." Jo started to tear up, which means this is very bad. "..we could not save your mother. We are sorry". I couldn't talk. I didnt even know if I was still breathing. "Your Grandma and little Lily have both passed away since". My baby sister. I closed my eyes. Why? Why them? Why me? Why now?
I can't believe my ears. Lies, its all lies I try and tell myself. But I know I'm the only one lieing right now. There's nothing for me to say so I just sit there in silence. No crying, screaming, talking, just pure silence. What about the trucker? Is he okay? Surely he must be? Well at least alive.
When we arrived at the hospital, I did not get out of the car. I didn't move an inch. I couldn't move. I was absolutely motionless.

"Com'on kid, Ryder will be waiting for you. He will be needing you. He needs to know you are okay. He's your brother. He will understand what you are going through, he's going through it too". With the thought of by beautiful big brother hurt, in pain or in tears, I moved fast, faster than I ever have before.
"RYDER! RYDER!" I bellowed running to him. He turned around and held his arms open wide for me. Our eyes meet and I saw his emotions. I could see the hurt, the pain, the loss. In that moment I forgot about the world. All that matters right now is my brother. I couldn't bare to lose him too!
"Are you the Benson family?" A young lady asked as I pulled away from Rye. I nodded my head. "Level 4, room 9". I gave her the best smile I could. Ryder started to walk but before I did and looked around. To see all those people. They are all here for a reason too. You can see their blood shot eyes, their scares. People are crying, sleeping and playing. I caught the eye if one of the kids there. I read her name tag. Summer I think it read. She gave me a smile saying be strong and you'll be okay. I nodded back to her and she kept playing. I will forget her little face.

When I took my first step into that room I saw Papa lying there. His eyes closed, tubes everywhere. To the right of him I saw Sammie, my big sister. She was lying on her side. Her thick, luscious, red, wavy hair covering her face and neck. I could see the scars on her arms and the tubes.
"They are both on life support, sis. We may never get them back either". Rye sniffled. This is bad, real bad! I turned around to look at Rye. Bad idea. My heart stopped for a second.
"Joel?" I whimpered. He had marks all over his face, he was missing some fingers, an arm and it looked like he broke his nose. "What happened to you?"

"C.C" I swallowed hard because I knew I was not going to like this. "He was driving the truck". Why Joel? Was all I wanted to ask but I didn't.
"Where's Tommy?"
"Joel was not wearing his set belt". There was a pause the Rye continued. "Tommy, he's in another room". Why is he in another room?
"Let me take you". Jo stepped in. I nodded my head unable to talk.
We walked into this other room. Jo said something to the guard and let us through. Wait why was there a guard? This is not a bloody prison, its a hospital!
"My apologies" he spoke with a weak voice as I walked past. Jo grabbed my hand. We had walked past about 7 people just lying there, no cords or tubes attached. No machines or nurses anywhere. Realisation hit me. I stood frozen there for what felt like a life time, looking at all those people. Thinking about their families they left behind, how the died, their ages.
"Cas, com'on".
"Sorry" I mumbled. I caught up to Jo. Then I saw him. My beautiful Tommy. My bestfriend. We did everything together and now what? He's gone. I've lost him forever. The one thing that surprised me though was the fact that I am not yet crying. What has happened to me? Do I not live these people?
"Cas is there anything you'd like to say to Tom.." his voice cracked. Tom I'd practically Jo son. "Or anyone else?" I looked at him, the innocence in his eyes. I shook my head and walked out. What was there to say? They're gone, not coming back. They all know I love them so what else to say? Nothing so why bother.