Borderlines

Chapter Nine

Fawn stared at her wall, as she had done the past two days. Fawn had refused any food offered to her and refused to talk to anyone. It was the fifth day in the competition for the crown, but Fawn didn't leave her room to socialize. She was still in the bloody clothes from the shooting and the odor around her smelled pungent. Fawn had cried all of the first night before retreating into herself. People were worried about her and she knew it, but Fawn let no one near her, only briefly letting medics patch up her arm where the bullet had grazed her shoulder. She was monster, she had let Aster's father die right in front of her. She was a failure. Grumbling loudly, Fawn's stomach protested her lack of nourishment. Fawn touched her stomach lightly, she was pretty hungry and was starting to feel nauseous. Unfortunately, she had ordered that the servants stop trying to bring her food so there was nothing in the room for her to eat. Fawn slowly unfolded her legs and her body ached from sitting in the same position for hours. Fawn gingerly slid off her bed. Her legs were a little wobbly, but they didn't buckle underneath her. She walked over to the wall where she hit a small button. The signal would travel down to the kitchen and the servants would bring her up something to eat. Walking over to her enclosed balcony, Fawn flung open the doors and a fresh breeze blew into her room. She smelled the air around her, realizing how appalling she must smell. Fawn quickly grabbed fresh clothes and went into her bathroom. She took a long shower, scrubbing the dried blood from her hands and washing the blood that had been caught in her hair out. After her shower, Fawn brushed her hair out, drying it with a towel. She took a deep breath, feeling her spirits slowly lift. Maybe she could recover from this. Swinging the bathroom door open, Fawn was immediately greeted by the enticing smell of chicken soup. She looked at the tray placed on her desk. It had the bowl of soup as well as two pieces of bread and a tall glass of water. Fawn looked at the doors of her balcony and saw the silhouette of someone.
"Hello?" Fawn took a tentative step forward, surprised at the smoothness in her voice. The silhouette moved and soon the person became visible.
"I wasn't sure where to wait." Garth said calmly, looking at Fawn. Fawn blinked, surprised that he had come to see her. She walked over to him, looking out the balcony doors and towards the distance. Garth was watching her, Fawn could feel his concerned gaze gauging her every movement.
"I heard what happened, with the little girl's father." Garth started slowly. Fawn looked at him, unable to stop the oncoming tears.
"Do you think she will ever forgive me?" Garth took her hand slowly.
"You have to forgive yourself first." Fawn felt the ache of his statement weigh her down. Of course he was right, but Fawn was sure she could never forgive herself. She wrapped her arms around Garth's neck, looking into his dark beautiful eyes. Fawn pulled him close, wanting to kiss him, but a firm hand on her neck stopped the intention. Fawn looked at Garth in confusion. He shook his head at her.
"Do not seek comfort in the company of others without seeking peace here first." His hand touched the place where her heart lie beneath her skin. He looked at Fawn, affection embedded deep in his eyes.
"And when you are ready, I will be waiting for you." He let go out Fawn's hand and stepped back, before turning and leaving Fawn in her room alone. Fawn looked at the empty doorway as emotions flooded her. Anger, hate, pain, regret, they all hit her like a wave. Fawn glanced at her food, but refused to eat any of it until she completed the task she had just challenged herself with. She walked over to the phone that was on her new desk and dialed in the numbers. There was rhythmic ringing on the other end before someone finally picked up.
"Hello?" The person asked on the end of the phone.
"Yes, this is Fawn Simmons and I need you to write this down and have it sent immediately." There was a pause and a rustle before the receptionist's voice came through the phone again.
"Okay Lady Fawn, what do you need?" Fawn smiled and began her extensive request.

~

Fawn paced the garden quickly and nervously. Sweat ran down her palms and made her dress stick to her skin. A gate creaked and Fawn snapped to attention. The women who Fawn had saw at the parade entered the gate slowly, behind her, clasping her hand was Aster. Fawn looked at the little girl, who's blue eyes were stretched wide as she saw Fawn. She coward against her mother. The women walked toward Fawn and the closer they got the more Aster pulled away. Her mother stopped about three feet from Fawn and Fawn looked her in the eye.
"I'm so sorry for your lose-"
"Reginald was not my husband." The woman cut her off quickly, "I am only the nanny" Fawn looked at the woman, caught off guard by her openness. She continued.
"Reginald's wife died after Aster was born." Fawn felt her stomach drop.
"I'm so sorry." She looked down at Aster.
"How much does she know?" She asked the nanny.
"I told her that you tried to save her father, that seemed to calm her down, but she is very scared." Fawn bent down and felt her heart sink as Aster pulled away. Fawn refused to give up though.
"Hey Aster, I know things are really confusing right now and you might not like me, but I want you know that I'm scared too. I was very scared during the parade, just like you." Aster looked at her for minute before she whispered,
"Were you scared for daddy?" Fawn nodded.
"I was very scared." Aster's shoulder sagged and she rushed forward, clutching onto Fawn while she burst into tears. Fawn inhaled quickly, surprised by Aster's outburst. She clutched her tighter, looking up at the nanny who was equally shocked. Fawn slowly picked Aster up, cooing to the young girl softly. Aster's sobs got worse before they lessened. He face was red and her eyes were puffy when she looked at Fawn.
"You tried to save daddy didn't you?" She asked. Fawn nodded slowly keeping her emotions tucked away.
"I tried Aster, but I couldn't save him. I'm sorry." She apologized to the little girl, ducking her head in shame. She was shocked when Aster kissed her cheek.
"You tried to save my daddy, no one else did. You are good." Aster said, touching Fawn's chest right over her heart, the same place Garth had. Fawn looked at the little girl's hand, her eyes grew misty. She looked at Aster.
"You're right Aster" She choked out, "I am good."

~

Fawn spent the rest of the day playing in the garden with Aster. It turned out the girl loved the flower she was named after, and she smelled each and every one as she passed them. Fawn followed after the little girl, her heart growing lighter with every step. Once Aster opened up, the little girl was a giant bouncing ball of fun. Fawn sat on a blanket with the young girl, looking at the setting sun and pointing out shapes in the clouds. Aster giggled when Fawn pointed out one that looked like a horse. The sound of the gate creaking again made Fawn sit up. Aster's nanny was back, ready to take the little girl home.
"Hey Aster," The nanny said with a smile as she approached the child, "It's time to go home," Aster frowned.
"I don't want to leave." She whined. Fawn smiled and picked Aster up off the blanket, setting her on the brick path.
"You can't stay here forever." Aster looked at her nanny before rushing forward and hugging Fawn around her legs and waist. Fawn bent over, hugging the little girl back and Aster kissed her cheek again. Fawn gave her a small squeeze before letting go. The nanny looked, at her mouthing a silent thank you.
"Alright Miss Aster, let's go." The nanny began dragging her away, but Aster turned around, waving at Fawn. Fawn smiled sadly and waved back at the little girl until she left Fawn's sight. Looking up at the sky, Fawn inhaled deeply, letting the crisp air cleanse her spirit. She did not think anything would bring her out of the oblivion that she had sunk into. Turns out, all it took were the innocent words of a child. Fawn looked at the darkening sky again before going inside the palace. She walked to her room and closed the balcony doors. He whole body ached and she was tired. The clock informed Fawn that it was still early, but Fawn couldn't fight the sleep that pulled at her body. She brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas, making sure to brush her hair thoroughly. Fawn practically jumped under her blankets, pulling them up to her chin. Tomorrow would be day six, only eight more days to go. Eight more days to fall in love. It was unrealistic. Fawn closed her eyes, dreaming of dark ones staring back into hers.