Put The Gun Down

Chapter Four

"I'm the one who tried to solve this little issue between us. This morning was not supposed to turn out the way it did. Do you think I planned on having a mental break down? And maybe you're right, maybe it is my divorce, but even if it is, you still don't get to make the decision on whether I go home or not. The only thing you're worried about is your stupid internship!" Employes stared at us as we continued to argue in the middle of the hall. 

"Well maybe if you took the time to sit down and talk to me about this-" I cut her off. "That's what I was trying to do this morning! I was ready to pour my heart out to you and explain everything, but here we are. Right back at the start" I began to calm down word by word. "You already told me what's been going on, and yet you're still acting like a complete asshole" 

Before I could think, instinct took over. I pulled up my left sleeve, revealing the bandage wrapped around my wrist. "Not everything" I pulled it back down and began to stomp away. "Oh my God... Andy wait!" This time, it was Charlotte running after me in the parking lot. "Feels like Deja vu" I rolled my eyes, turning to face her. "If I would have known-" I interrupted her again. "Save it. I've heard it before" I put my hand up to silence her.

"Will you please just get over yourself and listen to me!" She took a step closer. "Get over myself? Are you fucking kidding me? Why do you think I do that? It's because I am over myself! I'm over everything! I'm sick and tired of hearing that I'm an inspiration when I can't even go a night without slitting my own wrists! Every song I've written is a complete lie! How am I supposed to tell millions of people that I'm not who they think I am? How am I supposed to act like I'm perfectly fine when I'm not?" I had reached my breaking point. Tears flowed from my eyes, Charlotte had a guilty look on her face, she didn't say a word.

"You don't get it, do you? The music world isn't always fun and games. It's full of disappointments and fake smiles. Do you know how it feels to lie to people who have looked up to you their whole lives? It sucks and I can't do it anymore! I'm sick of telling people it's okay to be sad when it's not. It's not okay to feel this way, and I was such a fucking idiot to make people believe that. So before you waste any more of your time with me, save yourself while you can and find a new mentor before you end up like me; Dead" I was completely numb. Everything I had been keeping inside escaped through my mouth and disappeared into the air.

"Andy, I'm not going to pity you because I know you don't want that. However, I will be here for you and I will listen to what you have to say" I could tell she was lost for words and totally taken back by my outburst. "Thank you, but no thank you. I just want to be alone" I unlocked my car and got in, Charlotte held the door open so I couldn't close it. "I know you're just saying that because you're afraid to let me in. I know I haven't proved myself to be trustworthy, but you need someone right now and clearly I'm the only one you have at the moment" I sighed in defeat and signaled her to join me in the car.

A/N: Wow that was deep... Let me know what you think of this chapter!